Yummy Brain Gravy

To Whom it May Concern

2011-06-30T01:58:00.002-05:00

I have officially realized I have given up blogging. There are a handful of people out there I used to interact with a LOT via this blog. If you want to connect via facebook, I ask a couple things: remind me who you are, the blog you used to write, that kinda stuff. Then of course the facebook name. Send all inquiries to: SocialParasite51@hotmail.com

Still Dead... But Mummies Draw Visitors

2008-05-28T20:36:00.002-05:00

30,000 hits now.

Newer, random updates over ~~hither~~ yonder.

Short Version...

2007-09-11T00:14:00.001-05:00

As noted in my August 27th post... This blog has MOVED.

Needed a change of scenery.

It's here now: Inactively Speaking

The 27th... A Day of Change

2007-08-27T00:44:00.000-05:00

The twenty seventh of the month has been a day of major changes in my life. Just in this year alone I have:

put "Dusty Old Cat" to sleep
realized I was falling for a girl I was dating
been dumped by said girl
been told my grandmother was put in hospice, and had hours, maybe days to live (she's still alive and getting better I am happy to report, several months later)
Plus just numerous other minor happenings that have greatly affected my life.

Previous years have been similar:

My dad's retirement.
An ex-gf causing some drama.
My discovery of Haagan Daas caramel cone ice cream (yes, its that good).
an anniversary with one of the great loves of my life.
I picked my major on my return to school.

(I got all this information from going backwards in time on a personal journal I keep)

So, because of this, I have decided to wait till the 27th to make another bit of a change: I am retiring this blog.

Yes, this is the last post.

I had begun to feel a bit trapped in this blog. I've no longer been writing openly on it. It had its time and place, so now I am moving on to a new blog.

Yeah, gravy doesn't die, it just takes on a different shape.

http://gravy3000.blogspot.com/

All... On Your iPhone

2007-08-23T01:59:00.000-05:00

Deep Thought

2007-08-20T00:10:00.000-05:00

How long till Ikea sues Apple for copyright infringement for all the *i* products?

WARNING!!!

2007-08-19T04:46:00.000-05:00

This blog has been infested by crickets and tumbleweeds.

Beware of the cobwebs...

EEEK!!!

Yonder dust bunny approaches!!!

Peanuts 2007

2007-08-13T21:29:00.000-05:00

If the peanuts began today, what would they look like...

Maybe this?

Picard vs. Chunk

2007-08-12T18:32:00.000-05:00

Guest Star

2007-08-11T03:06:00.000-05:00

I guest authored/starred on SwissToni's blog this week. Shared the music that has been following me around as of late. Check it out.

(go here)

America's New Threat

2007-08-09T11:50:00.000-05:00

Viva Las Vegas

2007-08-03T03:20:00.000-05:00

In about twelve hours, I'll be two time zones away in Las Vegas.

I'll be back monday... hopefully hungover, no less poor than I am now, with a lot of good stories to not tell.

Star Wars vs. Star Trek

2007-08-02T12:43:00.000-05:00

I'm not asking which movies were better, which was better as a sci fi series, or any such nonsense. We all know as a group of films, Star Wars beats Trek on the big screen, but as an overall development of characters and universe... you can't beat the Trek franchise.

I prefer to break things down to a simpler form. Who would win in a fight.

Chewbacca vs. Worf

Han Solo vs. Kirk

Luke in the beginning of Episode IV vs. Ensign Wesley Crusher (pre traveler Wesley)

Leia vs. Jadzia Dax

Yoda vs. Q

Boba Fett vs. Odo

C-3PO and R2D2 vs. Data

The Millenium Falcon vs. the Defiant

10 Stormtroopers vs. 10 Original Series Red Shirt Guys

10 Clonetroopers vs. 10 Jem'Hadar

I'm going to answer this, and put my superior geeky answers here.

I figure I might get one to two people to answer this, since... there probably aren't that many sci fi nerds like myself reading this thing. But hey... I needed a post before I leave for Vegas tomorrow.

Why Ben Harper Rulez!!!

2007-07-31T02:51:00.000-05:00

New CD coming out August 28th. Check out more of his stuff on his website.

Then buy his new disc. I am.

Michael Vick Is Taking Bets

2007-07-28T20:08:00.000-05:00

Will It Blend?

2007-07-27T00:14:00.000-05:00

Will It Blend (Bic Lighters)

EZ cheese and the iPhone were both pretty cool too...

Natures Kingdom

2007-07-25T01:14:00.001-05:00

Who To Vote For

2007-07-23T13:34:00.000-05:00

I took a test online to see which candidates best fit my personal ideals on who I should vote for President in 2008. My top five were...

Kucinich - D
Gravel - D
Obama - D
Clinton - D
Edwards - D

This Kucinich guy is from Ohio, where he's a member of the House of Representatives. I won't pass judgement on him yet. I'll do some deeper research on him and see where that takes me.

Gravel is a no. Why? He's 77 years old. I won't try to put someone that age in the White house. Too old.

Obama has been my favorite since Bayh didn't run. He is a fresh change from what I've been seeing in office.

Clinton is a no, no, never, never, uh uh uh (as my Calculus teacher from high school used to say.) I simply do not like her. She represents what I want Washington to get away from: the typical politician. Hillary is full of baggage, and I just don't want that in my President.

Edwards is a no. When I see him I see Robin (from Batman fame). Yeah... the freaking boy wonder. Of course Kerry being Batman. I see him too much as a losing horse candidate. Maybe in 4-8 years I could vote for him, but as of now... too close to the 2004 fiasco.

And that's my two cents.

http://www.dehp.net/candidate/

I Wish I Was...

2007-07-23T01:02:00.000-05:00

...a pro football player in the NFL.

I wish I played for the Atlanta Falcons.

That way, on the first day of training camp, I could break both of Michael Vick's elbows and knees with a baseball bat. His arms and legs would have so many breaks in them, it would be a wonder if he would ever be able to walk or even sign his own name again.

*sighs*

For anyone who doesn't know, Michael Vick is the so called star Quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons who was just indicted by a grand jury for dog fighting.

I'm Now a Simpson's Character

2007-07-22T02:46:00.000-05:00

This is my self design of myself as a Simpson's character.

Had to make myself as close to my normal skin tone as possible, considering most people of my Simpsons ethnicity are yellow... I think I was able to pull off my ghostly pale quite well.

The stache and goatee are dead on for me (especially since my goatee is a little lighter than my hair), as are my perpetually stoned looking even though I don't smoke eyes.

Throw me in a black shirt with some odd logo or phrase on it... and you got me.

Thank You Google Ads

2007-07-19T02:27:00.000-05:00

I'm surfing the food networks website for recipes, and see something for buffalo wing sauce from a cook whom I like (Bobby Flay). I just happen to pay attention to the well placed google ads.

Yeah... that third one sure does sound like a place where all the flavor is at.

Improving Western Relations with the Middle East

2007-07-18T23:44:00.000-05:00

I have a simple plan to improve the relations of the Middle east with the US.

We watch some of their TV shows, and music videos...

Like this:

Slap That Biznitch

2007-07-18T03:49:00.000-05:00

All Growsed Up

2007-07-14T17:21:00.000-05:00

When I was a little kid, I used to love eating grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup.

Last night, I made myself a grilled cheese. No soup though. Had a bloody mary with it instead.

Quite the yummy combo.

No More WoW 4 U!!!!

2007-07-10T17:02:00.000-05:00

Leave It To The Military to Actually Be Honest

2007-07-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

*gets up on soapbox*

I read a brief interview with Lt General David Petraeus, the big man in charge (currently) of our forces in Iraq.

He said, stating northern Ireland as an example, that fighting the insurgency would be a battle of ten years.

He also stated that the level of US troops there now seems to be stabilizing things, but a clear cut answer wouldn't be able to be made until September. Then decisions could be made about withdrawing some troops, as both the US and Iraq want.

That's honest. That's something I can support at this point.

I'd vote this guy for president. Being willing to say "ten years" and using a historical situation as a reference means the guy is being as honest and straightforward as they come.

Thanks military. I knew I trusted you for a reason.

Blog History...

2007-07-09T00:59:00.000-05:00

I began this blog several years ago as an offshoot to a fake name I had created.

I needed a blogger account to argue politics with a Neo-Con who just pissed me off. So, I created the name, and started using this account for my various postings.

Well, his blog went stale, as most pro repub blogs did after about year five of the dubs destruction of America scheme.

Just now, I went to check his old blog... and it was gone.

So, I did a google.

Turns out, he began to use the net to make threats to have his girlfriend abort her baby if they didn't get $50,000.

This really amused me, that I used to argue about WMD's with a guy who called all liberals baby killers who later pulled a stunt like that.

787 On the...

2007-07-09T00:02:00.000-05:00

Boeing has a new commercial jet, the 787.

They took a different approach than Airbus on their new scheme. They figured build a better mid capacity, long distance jet, than one big ass jet you could pack with more.

One thing they are boasting is it is 20% more fuel efficient than current jets in its size range. This makes it cheaper to operate, since it uses less fuel.

Less fuel usage is good, and better for the environment, because of less emissions right?

Some idiotic environmentalists are complaining. (article)

Yeah.

They claim the reduced costs will make more people fly.

So, I have a new idea.

How about we cut that dependence on foreign oil, and raise the cost of flying, by making COAL POWERED JETS!!!

Just think of it. Big black clouds of smoke behind every one of em. Since each will have to take on a hell of a lot of coal to make trips, they'll have less seats.

Less seats = higher costs.

Higher costs = less people flying.

Now THAT is environmentally friendly, and lowers the dependence on foreign oil all in one swift move.

Too bad everyone doesn't think as proactive as I do.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000: Generations

2007-07-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

George W. "dubs" Bush is a Heartless Man

2007-07-02T19:47:00.000-05:00

It amazed me.

dubs pardoned little baby Scooter from serving any of his prison sentence for crimes of perjury, and putting the lives of the American people at risk today. He said the 30 months of prison part of his sentencing was too strict.

He thinks that, but for some reason didn't save poor under privileged Miss Paris Hilton from her cell.

That man has no heart.

Poor little Paris... suffering her full term for just 78 drunk driving offenses.

Friday Music Explained on Saturday

2007-06-30T15:39:00.000-05:00

Heaven's a Lie by Lacuna Coil - I've been on a Lacuna Coil kick lately. What was once a "when the mood hit me" band has become one of my favorites. I don't know if its Cristina Scabbia's voice, the band having a more unique sound in comparison to other stuff I listen to, or just flat out Italian pride (They're from Milan, Italy... My ancestry is mostly Italian...).
Wicked Game covered by Stone Sour - Bought this one on download from iTunes, as it has been stuck in my head since I saw them last march and they did this live. Absolutely amazing show. What really cracks me up though, is that this is the guy singing it... although the pic is him in his other band, Slipknot.
She Builds Quick Machines by Velvet Revolver - Such a happy blend of GnR and STP, yet modernized. Excellent song, can't wait for the new disc to come out. My biggest problem is Slash's guitar solo needed to be longer. It seems like as soon as he started going the reigns were pulled back on him. BAD PRODUCER.... BAD!!! Hopefully its just a radio edit.
Heart Shaped Glasses by Marilyn Manson - Manson's back, and the new disc is good. Not one of his best efforts... but not trash. This one has found its way into my head way too many times.
Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd - Don't know how this one snuck back up on me... but it did. This is probably the song that really got me hooked on Floyd many years ago. One of my friends used to play this all the time on his guitar, so of course I'd take on vocals... *sigh* The days of youth.
Online by Gnarls Barkley - This song is just way too catchy. Its an excellent, laid back, summer song.
Billie Jean covered by Chris Cornell - The former Soundgarden and former Audioslave frontman put out a second solo CD... and this is the song that I got stuck in my head from it. It isn't even that great. I hope he can manage to not let his wife pull another Yoko on him, and make him break up a good band, again, over petty shit. Chris, you got the vocals, you just need a backing crew that's talented AND original. Your solo stuff is alright, but doesn't come close to your efforts with Audioslave or Soundgarden.
Viva Las Vegas covered by Nine Inch Elvis - Elvis songs done in the style of Nine Inch Nails. Its not that good. Its kinda twisted. But the second I made reservations for Vegas this one crept into my head, and refuses to leave.
Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins - The pumpkins were always huge out here, since they are from Chicago. I'm excited about the new disc, but haven't heard anything off of it, so I managed to get the first song I heard from them stuck in my head. At least its a good one.
Violent Pornography by System of a Down - For some reason, I equate this song with the summer and drinking beer. So... two years straight it gets warm, and I feel I must listen to this one... nonstop.

Friday Music...

2007-06-29T14:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know I do this next to never, but eh... Its hard finding the stuff that's been stuck in my head. I'm pickier than writing about it, I want people to hear the obscurity... which means sometimes I can't write about it all instantly... maybe after work...

Coincidence?

2007-06-29T03:34:00.000-05:00

Vegas Baby, Vegas

2007-06-27T21:06:00.000-05:00

Just because I've been running around almost everywhere else like a little kid with a new toy, bragging... I figured I should here too.

After several years of lockdown, being attached to books and broke, I finally am able to take a trip.

First weekend of August I'll be in Vegas for my 5th or 6th time. Such a happy place.

Drinking.

Debauchery.

Gambling.

Good times...

Darthmatic Prairie Dog

2007-06-27T21:05:00.000-05:00

Show Them To Me

2007-06-27T16:14:00.001-05:00

I have a new favorite song. Too bad the You Tube police will probably kill this video real quick, due to... adult content.

Subpoena for Wittle Georgey

2007-06-27T14:38:00.000-05:00

It's finally happened.

Dubs got subpoenaed for his Illegal wiretapping program that he says is legal cuz he's the King of Merica.

Now, he can cooperate within the democracy, and get fucked... -OR- he can fight, and continue to show his legacy as the president who thought he was king and above everyone else.

Unfortunately I'm thinking the guy won't listen, and is going to single handedly bring about the complete and total destruction of the integrity of his position (not that he has much left).

This Is Deep

2007-06-25T15:55:00.000-05:00

I forgot about this one... This song is so much deeper than I gave it credit for when I was in High School.

Nine Inch Nails, 50 Cent, and Yoda

2007-06-23T20:29:00.000-05:00

I Find Large Posteriours Enjoyable by Spock

2007-06-23T00:33:00.000-05:00

U Can Has Cheeseburger

2007-06-20T22:47:00.000-05:00

I Can Has Cheeseburger?

Mashed Potato

2007-06-16T17:31:00.001-05:00

I Love This Image

2007-06-09T01:21:00.000-05:00

I can't get enough of it. It mesmerizes me.

There is nothing better, than seeing a spoiled billionaire kid, getting hauled off to the pokey.

Crying. No make up. No annoying little dog.

Rape in Duckburgh

2007-06-09T01:04:00.001-05:00

Felt a need to post...

2007-06-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

NIMBY

2007-06-07T02:00:00.000-05:00

We all know the acronym NIMBY.

Not in my back yard.

Naples in Italy is one city that takes it to heart.

They've had a trash problem for years, and object to the idea of having a dump put in close to their city. So, they've been rightiously fighting it.

Now, the landfill they were using is full, and they have NO WHERE to put their trash. So, its sits in their front yards, festering and decomposing and fermenting into a luxiourious and rotting producer of methane and maggots.

Some residents are burning their trash, adding a lovely smell of burnt garbage and toxic gas to the mix.

They are sure showing the powers that be who's boss.

Princess Leia - Slave Outfit

2007-06-01T01:14:00.000-05:00

(just click this)

Will It Ever Stop?

2007-05-27T11:19:00.000-05:00

(click me)

Peer Pressure vs. Thrust Squad

2007-05-22T20:24:00.001-05:00

The battle that may determine the fate of mankind!!!

First, Peer Pressure...

And, their opponants... Thrust Squad...

So... Who do you think is better?

Mt. Everest Mobile

2007-05-21T22:41:00.000-05:00

Some dude became the first person ever to make a call with a cell phone on top of Mt. Everest. He also made the first text message.

Big F'n deal.

What's next, the first "hot carl" on top of Everest? The first sodomization of a sheep? I don't care about stupid firsts on the peak of everest. There's tons of shit that has never been done, so don't publicize each and every one.

The entire thing though, was made possible, by China putting up a cell phone tower that was within line of site of the north slope.

Now this is what really pisses me off.

How come the peak of Mt. Everest, which has a population density of 1 asshole who is the first person to masturbate to Bea Arthur on top of mount everest, gets more cell phone reception than, oh, ME!!!

I don't live in a shante on the arctic tundra or in the rainforest. I live in a semi-densely populated area, an hours drive from one of the largest cities in the most powerful country in the world, and can't talk on the cell for more than 3 minutes without the call being dropped.

How about we put some of that Chinese cell tower construction in my back yard, so I can make a call? Not that I would, since I hate phones and all... but just in case I actually wanted to.

Vista Sales Good?

2007-05-16T13:17:00.000-05:00

Windows Vista sales figures have been above projections.

All I can say to that is best of luck suckers.

New operating systems are the work of the devil. You don't touch them unless you are forced to. They are loaded with holes, break downs, and other problems. Wait a minimum of one year, or preferably, until the first service pack comes out. It will save you a TON of headaches.

I'll continue to run along with my well tested and stable, Windows XP until then. That and my dual boot laptop with XP and Linux.

Jerry Falwell Passes Away

2007-05-15T18:43:00.000-05:00

One of the top leaders of the Evangelical movement in the US, Jerry Falwell died this morning.

While I disagreed with about 99% of his views, I must commend him. He was honest, spoke his mind, and fought for what he believed in. For that he deserves my respect.

Spring 07 Completed, on to Summer 07

2007-05-15T15:10:00.000-05:00

My Spring 2007 classes are now complete.

Of course, without even a week off, my Summer 07 courses have begun.

Summer should be a much less involved schooling experience, unlike the last few weeks of this semester. Now I fully understand the entire ten page paper and project complaints from friends who have had degrees for years.

This summer should allow me to blog more, as I've missed this little creative output of mine. I can't begin to describe how much I like making fun of things.

Hopefully this is the post that marks the full return of me... at least for the summer.

The Goat Wife Update

2007-05-03T16:36:00.000-05:00

A while back, I had posted on a man who had been forced to marry a goat after being caught having sex with it. (In cases like this I absolutely LOVE Islamic law).

Well, the goat has since had a kidd (of the goat variety, not the human.)

Also, in sadder news, the goat-wife has recently passed, after choking to death on a plastic bag.

I'm surprised the guy didn't have her killed for cheating on him... then again, what would it look like that your wife, who happened to be a goat, had to seek a goat for lovin that you as a man couldn't provide.

That would be a bit of a blow to the ego methinks.

Whale Poopies

2007-05-02T11:50:00.000-05:00

Apparently, some perfumes are made from whale excretions.

The beaks of squid lodge themselves in the digestive systems of sperm whales, forcing them to produce a waxy substance in defence. Sometimes these get large and are excreted. They float on the ocean, drying out from the sun and salt. The substance is used in perfumes, and some hunks of it have sold for $18,000.

So, if someone says you smell like whale shit... you should take it as a compliment.

One example of a perfume that smells like a giant whale turd: Chanel No. 5.

Still Alive

2007-04-19T17:13:00.000-05:00

Its the end of the semester. Full of tests, projects, and term papers. Add a full time job and a girlfriend into the mix... the blog is empty.

If I see anything worthwhile, I'll post.

Then again, I think I've been seeing Studystiltskin lately...

The Truth Behind Squirrels....

2007-04-09T13:52:00.000-05:00

My Humps... Alanis style

2007-04-08T23:14:00.001-05:00

Squirrel Launcher (Animal Cruelty at Its Best)

2007-04-06T06:21:00.000-05:00

don't worry, its not gross... just twistedly funny.

Why I Like Pelicans - Part II

2007-04-05T14:01:00.000-05:00

Pelican eating another bird ZOMG

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Al Gore

2007-04-01T03:28:00.000-05:00

Stone Sour....

2007-03-28T23:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I acquainted everyone with Lacuna Coil a week before the show... here's your quick acquaintance with Stone Sour.

The concert was phenomenal. I'll do a full review later.

Payton Manning - He Gives

2007-03-26T23:40:00.000-05:00

Lacuna Coil - Falling Again

2007-03-20T00:10:00.000-05:00

Next Tuesday, I'll be at the House of Blues Watching this band, open for Stone Sour.

I'm excited. Italian Goth Metal rocks.

What Would Danny Tanner Say?

2007-03-19T13:28:00.000-05:00

"Why couldn't you be more wholesome, like DJ or Stephanie?"

Too bad they look more like Fonzi threw up on them than anything else.

Condilicious

2007-03-16T15:04:00.001-05:00

Earworms

2007-03-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd share what I've been listening to almost religiously lately. Its an eclectic mix, from Gypsy punk to 50 cent mashed up with NIN...

Start Wearing Purple by Gogol Bordello - Gypsy Punk... Its all Marieke's fault. For that I thank her.
(Closer) In Da Club by 50 Cent and NIN - How these two songs go so well together, I don't know... they just do.
Socio by Stone Sour - I'll be seeing Stone Sour in a week and a half at the House of Blues... so the last disc has been getting a lot of play... especially this song.
27 Jennifers by Mike Doughty - Mike Doughty used to be the vocalist for Soul Coughing. I've been picking up his solo stuff... Different from SC... but I'm liking it.
You've got to hide your love away by Eddie Vedder - Pearl Jam may have died for me a long time ago... but it seems like Eddie can sing almost any old song and make it all his own and still sound good. Even does it with the Beatles.
To the Edge by Lacuna Coil - They're opening for Stone Sour, and I'm more hyped up to see LC. Cristina Scabbia is just an amazing vocalist. Plus we are talking Italian Goth Metal.
Nowhere to Go by Mushroomhead - I've been listening to this band almost non stop for 5 years now. Its almost scary how much I like them.
Vermillion part 2. (bloodstone mix) by Slipknot - Corey Taylor being lead vocalist for Slipknot and Stone Sour made me dig up this one.
Roses From My Friends by Ben Harper - This song is about as depressing as they come. I heard it for the first time at just the right time... and it will stick with me forever.
Flake by Jack Johnson with Ben Harper - I've been listening to this one more so for Ben's slide guitar work at the end. I've seen a few live clips of him playing... and its amazing what he can really do. This is simple in comparison.

Greatest Spammer Name EVER!!!

2007-03-12T20:22:00.000-05:00

DeJesus Rudolph.

Now that screams class.

I'd like to thank the guy/programmer/random name generator in some third world country for spamming my yahoo account with this one. I think this may be the name of my first born son.

Sloth Love Chunk

2007-03-12T01:09:00.000-05:00

And for your Monday morning... excessive cuteness. We all need some time to time.

In Honor of International Women's Day...

2007-03-08T11:06:00.000-06:00

I must post... the most politically incorrect, foul, and crude jokes I can think of.

Why?

Because its my protest to no International Man's day... Unless you count Steak and Blowjob day, which is up on March 14th.

Now... On to the truly horrible jokes:

How come women's feet are smaller than mens?
so they can get closer to the sink to wash dishes.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
nothing. You already told her twice.

Why is it called PMS?
Because mad cow disease was already taken.

What's the most intelligent thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth?
Einsteins cock.

Ok... I'll be back to my normal, non sexist self tomorrow.

George Carlin on Religion

2007-03-07T15:18:00.000-06:00

Two blogs I read on a regular basis, talked a bit on religion, and it made me think about something I saw years ago.

George Carlin is just too funny. This also points out how well some of us take someone poking fun at our religion, while some others can't.

Mommy and Daddy Have the Same Mommy and Daddy

2007-03-07T01:04:00.000-06:00

Love, what a wonderful thing... brother and sister love... in the bedroom...

EEEEEK!!!

A couple surprisingly NOT from Tennessee wants to end a law banning incest. See, they are brother and sister, and in love. They've had several children.

Now, I find this disgusting, but that's not a valid argument, since I find things like homosexual sex disgusting, along with snoballing and cleveland steamers. I'll support anyones right to do those, but not incest.

The couple uses all the reasoning of the entire gay marriage thing.

There's one problem though... a brother and a sister can reproduce. Why should it be illegal for them to spit out kids, while people with handicaps can legally?

They claim kids from brother and sister aren't going to turn out with problems, as their oldest was born two months early, has epilepsy, and learning disabilities. Their second child has "special needs." But, according to them, that's normal.

Too BAD. So SAD. Its not discrimination. This isn't a case of genders or race. I have yet to hear of a group of people on earth that only find their relatives sexy. It isn't a case of you were born like this.

This is a case of two people having sex, and producing a litter of mutants. No mutants. No babies with flippers, three heads, and a bright red baboon butt.

You two are sick. Get help.

The Real Axis Of Evil

2007-03-03T14:59:00.000-06:00

Yeah, dubs was wrong again. Typical.

We don't need to worry about Iran, North Korea, Syria, Iraq, the Palestinians, or any of those so called problem areas. The true problem as we recently found out, is the Swiss.

After all these years of pretending to be neutral, they invaded Liechtenstein for a couple hours.

The Swiss claim it was an "accident."

I for one, won't believe their swisserly lies. I bet they have WMDs, IEDs, MRIs, IVPs, and even VDs. Its even rumored they have little pocket knives with forks on them that can be used to kill the mighty Grizzly Bear.

They must be stopped at all costs.

Please dubs, come to your senses... declare "nuke-yeller" war on the swiss.

Greatest Music Video EVER!!!

2007-03-01T03:49:00.000-06:00

I know whenever I find a music video that I love, I have a tendency to call it the greatest ever.

Happened with Paxilback by Gray Kid.

Happened with What's up Fatlip by Fatlip.

Happened with Windowlicker by Aphex Twin.

Its happened again...

90's Rock Mix Match

2007-02-27T02:37:00.000-06:00

Why is it that so many bands I used to jam out to in the nineties are reforming with each other now?

Break Ups:
Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, Rage Against the Machine, Pantera, Filter, Guns N Roses, Corrosion of Conformity, Mudvayne...

Formed:
Stone Temple Pilots + Filter = Army Of Anyone (And together they have the energy of both bands earlier work, not the later BS)

Stone Temple Pilots + GnR = Velvet Revolver (See previous)

Soundgarden + RATM = Audioslave (Showcases how much better of a band Rage members are)

Pantera + CoC = Down (Yeah, they put out albums in the 90's, but Phil is better fronting Down than he was Pantera)

Pantera + Mudvayne + Nothingface = Hell Yeah (not released yet, but the few songs I heard kicked ass)

Now, if the surviving members of Alice In Chains could just hook up with a vocalist who fit their style...

The NEW, New War on Terrorism

2007-02-26T01:51:00.000-06:00

Ever hear the phrase fight fire with fire?

I say we fight the Terrorists with just that... Terrorists.

This solves two things: the war on terror, and the idiotic sit at home neo-cons who want to wage war and see US soldiers die in nation building.

I see it this way. We allocate a section of the military budget to "Outhouses." This will be a multi-billion dollar budget. This money goes to small bands of various neo-cons, mercenaries, and zealous crusaders who just want to fight anyone who isn't christian.

They can then spend the money on some training and some decent body armor, and hitch a ride to some neighboring country, and sneak across the border into whatever terrorist country they think is suitable, and blow up shit.

Yeah, a lot of innocent people will die. Yeah, there will be backlash. Yes, its not the proper response.

At this point, I don't care. It'll cost less money, and less resources. More soldiers who went in the military to better themselves and to protect us will be able to do so from real threats, not dubs nation building.

Besides, we can deny we're doing it as long as anyone else. Even longer. Eventually, the other countries who do it will pretend they stopped, by only cutting back, as we'll also do, and everything will be a little more peaceful.

George Takei on Tim Hardaway

2007-02-22T23:12:00.000-06:00

What do these have in common...

2007-02-18T01:40:00.000-06:00

Grace Jones...
Me...
Captain Picard...
Natalie Portman...
Kareem Abdul Jabaar...
Sinead O'Connor...
Britney Spears...

Answer?

All have sported the shaved head look.

Yeah, the epitome of white trash America has shaved her head.

When Justin Timberlake wrote Sexyback he SURE AS HELL wasn't talkin' bout Britney.

Girl... grow it back and until then get a wig.

Desperately Seeking Beerhound

2007-02-16T22:04:00.000-06:00

Dear fellow bloggers and beer drinkers.

I've gone and done something slightly unoriginal. I've created another blog. Only I need your help.

I've made a blog on the happiest liquid on earth - Beer.

I know a lot of you out there love the stuff as much as I do, some of you more.

I like getting introduced to new beers, reading peoples opinions on beers, etc. Figure there are a few of you out there who might think the same. So, I created another blog on the subject, for reviewing and sharing beer info.

If anyone wants to be an author, send me an e-mail at socialparasite51 (at) hotmail (dot) com. More the merrier.

So far I have next to nothing up, and the template is about as generic as they come.

And, of course the name is as crude as I can make em.

Beer Bloggy Blog

PINEAPPLE!!!

2007-02-11T15:51:00.001-06:00

Why the Bears Lost

2007-02-07T01:41:00.000-06:00

I've had this discussion with many people, and although people agree with all my points, they just prefer to point a finger at one person: Rex Grossman.

Rex Grossman hurt the Bears in the superbowl, but he did not single handedly lose the game for them. They failed as an entire team, coaching staff and many players.

The defensive scheme they went with was extremely passive. Normally the bears are in your face, gang tackling and crushing anyone who comes close. They played an extremely conservative game, that let Manning pass all over them with short passes, and allowed the colts to run at will.

Special teams, minus Hesters opening kickoff return and Gould's field goal, were crap. Maynard averaged about 35 yards a punt. We had no coverage on our kickoffs and punts. We kept them in good field position.

Offensive playcalling was bullshit. Who passes with an average quarterback on second and one, in a close game, when your rush offense has been picking up 7 yards a carry?

Yes, Grossman made SEVERAL mistakes. He fumbled twice. A couple of passes he shouldn't have thrown. that wasn't the whole game though. If the actual 2006 Bears defense would have shown up... If special teams would have played remotely normal... If the offense would have had one more effective drive...

It would have been the Bears winning.

As far as Grossman is concerned...
Everyone wants to lynch the guy. I keep hearing comparisons made that "Peyton Manning/Brett Favre/Joe Montana/Dan Marino/John Elway wouldn't have done that." Damn right they wouldn't have. Then again, you are talking about a group of some of the greatest quarterbacks of ALL TIME. Put one of them in their first full season as a QB in the super bowl... and see how they do.

I don't see Grossman ever being at that calibur, but I don't see the Bears ever having a QB like that. The bears are a run offense, super defense team. Teams with that style and set up don't have potential hall of fame QB's. Yeah, I'd love to have a guy the calibur of a Favre line up under center. Not gonna happen.

So, bring Rex back next year. Pick up a quality... 5-6 year vet as a back-up. If Rex plays the same as this year, or worse... move on to a new QB. You can't cut a 4th year player, who has one full season under their belt, at a position that doesn't peak until they are around their 8th or 9th season.

Especially after you made it to the Super Bowl with that guy as your QB.

The Fight Song...

2007-02-04T14:44:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow....

2007-02-03T14:16:00.001-06:00

Groundhog Cat

2007-02-02T18:04:00.000-06:00

The end of winter, or another six weeks of it, to some is defined by a groundhog on this day.

This blog does not use Puxtahbushladen Phil as its source, oh no. This blog goes by a much more powerful animal... the Groundhog cat.

For about 18 years, my eldest brother's cat, and my kittie's littermate, the Foo Fighter used her powers to control when winter ended. After she became one with the force, my other brother's cat, Da Meesh filled in. This year, making his first appearance in the blog, is... The Mack Truck.

The Daddy Mack and his littermate, Noodle, are the successors to the Foo Fighters Throne. Yes... the Foo Fighter was so powerful she needed two to even come close to controlling her former kingdom. Noodle being the brains, and the Mack Truck being the brawn.

This year... Mack saw his shadow. He also saw snow, and in his kitteny view of the world, and his mutant power of super furryness, has declared winter to stay until he gets bored with it. He wants to play in the snow because it looks cool.

Songs of the Season

2007-02-02T02:01:00.000-06:00

Every season has a song. I only know of one song about Groundhog day, and its by Primus.

Later... after sunrise... There will be a posting by this year's resident Groundhog cat... because we can't trust Putz-uh-tiny Phil.

(song removed... times up.)

How To Have a Good Time

2007-02-01T13:48:00.000-06:00

Make friends with someone who works at a retail store that sells books.
If they are twisted enough, have them find out which two characters in the next Harry Potter book die.
When all the crazies are standing in line at midnight of the release, drive past and tell them who dies, how, and just amazing it was.
Watch as little kids and adults cry, some use profanities, and some might even try to attack you.
In case you can't do 1&2... make shit up. Be creative. Make sure Harry is one of the dead characters.

(I realize this has been done before, I just like to re-emphasize the need for it to be done.)

The Robot Ride

2007-01-30T14:05:00.000-06:00

Website Discovery

2007-01-30T01:20:00.000-06:00

Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Dusty Old Cat - b. June 1987, d. January 27, 2007

2007-01-27T12:08:00.000-06:00

After being my sidekick and buddy for nearly 20 years, the dusty old kitty had reached her limit.

I woke up to her having a seizure at about 6 AM. I knew at that point she was living on borrowed time.

She was a bit out of it, but I got a couple hours to hold her, pet her, hear her purr, and just say goodbye. Keeping her any longer would have prolonged her suffering, and been selfish on my part. I'm just happy I got a chance to say goodbye to my baby.

I'm gonna miss her.

Dissappointment in Jean-Luc

2007-01-25T00:52:00.000-06:00

Dear Captain Picard,

For quite some time, I have been a fan of yours. Your teachings, your pimplike bald haircut, your power you express when you say "make it so" have greatly moved me.

However, recently, you have led me astray. During my neverending quest for new delicious things to try... you led me wrong.

Earl Grey Tea.

How can you drink that stuff? Its like someone spilled paint thinner in the tea. I will never trust an English guy playing a Frenchman in a Science Fiction series ever again.

Sincerely,
Michael

Bears vs. Colts - Further Thoughts

2007-01-22T13:10:00.000-06:00

Now, we have a target... which also happens to be my (distantly) second favorite team... the Indianapolis Colts.

Like many people, teams I like/dislike are due to demographics and established rivalries. The Bears are NFC, and the Colts AFC. So, they don't play each other often. Also, if you drive half an hour south of my house... nothing but Colts fans. Besides, after hearing Manning chant "Cut that meat" in a commercial... I became a fan.

HOWEVER:
This is a field of battle. Only one team can be rooted for, and that is DA BEARS!!! I want to see Brian Urlacher completely LEVEL Manning. I want to see Tillman and Vasher both have interceptions. I want to see every Bears lineman knock down, or better yet sack Manning.

I want a complete, total, demolishment of every aspect of the Colts offense.

This is THE biggest game in Pro Football. The championship.... The Super Bowl. Making it is insignificant.

People don't remember Super Bowl Losers. They remember the winners.

Besides, I've long ago pegged Manning as the next John Elway. i.e. he's gonna lose a few bowls, have a few years out of contention, then win a couple and retire.

...and without further ado...

DA BEARS!!!

DA BEARS!!!

2007-01-21T20:41:00.000-06:00

Chicago Bears 39 - New Orleans Saints 14

We're going to the Super Bowl!!!

Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears

Buddy Guy at Legends January 10, 2007

2007-01-15T20:05:00.000-06:00

I saw Buddy Guy at Legends last Wednesday... for the last time. The college that has the lease on his blues club isn't renewing it. (Rumor's that he's working with Mayor Daley to get a new club opened up somewhere downtown.) Hope so. Chicago is one of the homes of the blues. Buddy was born in one (Louisiana), and became famous in another (Chicago).

Show was good. I had a good view (as shown in my poor camera phone picture). 70 year old man plays guitar better than just about anyone... and his showmanship is outstanding. During the show he said he's known for blues, but he can play other stuff too, and began playing Voodoo Chile... then kept playing it one handed.

As me and my brother were leaving, we were standing in line for him to buy a T-Shirt since Buddy was signing autographs. We were two people away... when he stopped. So, didn't buy one and left.

Me, being a paranoid like I am, took a look behind me as I was walking out: I was being followed behind by him. So, of course I held the door for the Rock and Roll Hall of Famer. My now second best contact with someone famous.

And, thanks to the miracle of Google Video... a live performance of "Damn Right I Got the Blues."

Little differences...

2007-01-10T13:56:00.000-06:00

Americans and Canadians are both very similar, there are just a few little differences between us.

One of them is: American's make their computers out of plastic and aluminum.

Canadians build their PC's out of wood.

3 Year Anniversary

2007-01-08T03:24:00.000-06:00

It has now been three years since I quit smoking.

That translates out to be a little over 36,000 cigarettes not smoked, and me having saved over $7,000.

Music of the Year '06

2007-01-03T00:01:00.000-06:00

Now, my picks for tops of 06 - as in I heard them first in 06... this is all relative to me.

This year was a really good one for music for me. I made a few discoveries (Skunk Anansie). I found re-incarnations of past musical genius (Soul Coughing frontman Mike Doughty's solo work). I also got new discs from long time favorites (Mushroomhead, Todd Snider, Ben Harper, Audioslave).

Best Cover Songs of 2006 (this is only because I have a sick fascination with them.)

The Gambler (Kenny Rogers) covered by Mike Doughty
Where the Streets Have No Name (U2) covered by Serj Tankanian (vocals), Flea (bass), Tom Morello (guitar), Brad Wilke (drums), Pete Yorn (vocals, guitar)...
Enjoy the Silence (Depeche Mode) covered by Lacuna Coil
Gone Daddy Gone (Violent Femmes) covered by Gnarls Barkley
Bold As Love (Jimi Hendrix) covered by John Mayer

Top Ten Songs of 2006

10. Charlie Big Potato by Skunk Anansie - Technically this song was released many years ago, but since the band never had a following in the US, and I didn't discover them till this year thanks to the legendary Swiss Toni Shufflethon, they are eligible. Rare you find a female fronted rock band that has this much power and emotion. Skins voice amazes me to this day.

9. Online by Gnarls Barkley - this song is great. Has a catchy beat, excellent vocals... its just too short. Under two minute songs are there just for catchyness. I have songs with guitar solo's that surpass the length of this song.

8. Both Sides of the Gun by Ben Harper - Yet another 1970's R&B inspired song by Ben. Just one of many songs from his most recent CD that could have been on this list.

7. Wide Awake by Audioslave - This song surprised me a bit, as Chris Cornell's lyric writing hasn't really been too political in the past. Tom and the boys from Rage must have influenced the man a bit, as this one is very political (hurricane Katrina). From the catchy opening bass line to Cornells amazing vocals... this song has it all.

6. White Lexus by Mike Doughty - Mellow song. Much different sound musically than his old Soul Coughing days... more folklike. His lyrics really are poetic though.

5. 12 Hundred by Mushroomhead - This is the song that just got me most off of the new disc. Its angry. VERY angry. Loud. But... metalheads like myself eat this kind of stuff up.

4. Time of Your Song by Matisyahu - He really created a great song with this one. This song dominated the first half of 2006 for me... then the magic just faded away.

3. Zzyzx Rd. by Stone Sour - Corey from Slipknot's side project is turning out to amaze me more than his original group. He couldn't write something like this with them. Just truly a great song that pretty much anyone could listen to. Slow songs tend to be a bit more trans-genre though.

2. Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry - This song is flat out dirty. Its a lot of fun though. My most overplayed song this past year. I couldn't give it the number one spot, due to it being all pop and of little substance.

1. 10,000 Days (Wings Part II) by Tool - This song is absolutely amazing. It is like a novel, when most songs are short stories. The lead singer, Maynard, wrote the song about his mother who had passed away. She had a massive stroke 27 years before she died (roughly 10,000 days). The song is about her life, and ascention into heaven, written from the eyes of her atheist son. Its over 11 minutes long... but keeps you engaged the entire time. Its truly a work of art... out of a metal/prog rock band that was usually known for songs like "Prison Sex" and "Stink Fist."

Top 10 Albums of 2006

10. Post Orgasmic Chill by Skunk Anansie - Good disc. Skin quickly became one of my top female vocalists. Lyrically the band is lacking, but overall sound wise impressed me. Overall it was a strong disc, with only one really bad song (On My Hotel TV).

9. St. Elsewhere by Gnarls Barkley - This disc was catchy. It was pop but not mainstream. Really created a sound all its own. If you want something different... but electronic... this may be it.

8. Both Sides of the Gun by Ben Harper - Ben got carried away, and did a double disc. This is bad. He had many good songs on the CD's, that just them could have been the #1 disc this year. Too bad there were a lot of so so tracks on the discs, that just killed it. Overall, it is the continued expansion of Ben's unique blend of every genre known to man. Plus his slide guitar gets better and better every album. This is the different but non electronic you may be needing.

7. Karmacode by Lacuna Coil - This band expanded itself a lot with this album. Much heavier than their previous efforts. Less dude singing, more Cristina... who is by far the best female vocalist in metal.

6. Haughty Melodic by Mike Doughty - This is a really good, rocksy, folksy kind of disc. Although not exactly anything all that original musically, the songs have a good flow to them, and Doughty continues to prove to be a great lyricist.

5. The Devil You Know by Todd Snider - Todd put together another outstanding disc. The discs are good, but the live show is better. His writing is just amazing. He'll make you laugh, he'll make you cry. He tries to get in the heads of people, and tell the story from their perspective. This goes from politicians to criminals to regular people.

4. Revelations by Audioslave - One of the greatest rock vocalists + one of the most innovative guitarists + a really tight rhythm section = yet another great CD. They continue to go beyond the Rage against the Garden sound that they started with, and continue to find their own. Still loving the third effort.

3. Come Whatever May by Stone Sour - Corey Taylor and crew are proving to be a much more varied and interesting band than Slipknot. He pidgeonholed himself into a specific sound with Slipknot, and this band allows him a lot more creative freedom... which creativity is a necessity for good music.

2. 10,000 Days by Tool - Another excellent album by Maynard and the boys. The band continues to evolve into something greater. The downside of this disc was a few too many filler tracks. It may work for transitioning songs... but not as enjoyable in a day of short attention spans and iPods.

1. Savior Sorrow by Mushroomhead - In what is basically their third mainstream release, the band lost one of their lead singers (J. Mann), and replaced had to replace him (Waylon). Its proven to not slow them down one bit, as this disc rocked my face off. Waylon has actually helped to improve the bands overall vocals, as he can sing as well as shout. They continue their heavy guitars, accompanied by piano, strings, a DJ, and a combo of two good vocalists. Really a talented and unique group. ALTHOUGH I must say the song "Damage Done" pissed me off to no end. Not only was it bad, it went against one of the good parts of the bands writing I had admired... no foul language. It really lent the band a lot of credibility... but I'm sure some record company exec thought a foul mouthed rant about "getting fucked up" would sell to the illiterate kiddies.

Person Of The Year 2006

2007-01-02T17:18:00.000-06:00

It took me a long time to determine who the person of the year for the year 2006 would be.

So long in fact, its now 2007. The extra time allowed me to figure out it wasn't a single person, but a group of people. Yes, the all appropriate cop out, just like TIME magazine and their "you" award. So, 2006's person of the year is....

Republicans.

By shedding their sheep's clothing, and showing that they aren't the moral do gooder's of society, the world has become a better place. Tom DeLay's indictment, Mark Foley writing lewd love letters to little boys, Dick Cheney shooting some dude in the face, Donald Rumsfeld getting canned, Rush Limbaugh attacking Michael J. Fox for having Parkinson's... the list can go on forever.

Thanks to them, the new Congress is marked D instead of R. We might actually see some improvement around the place now... at least I hope we do.

(Person of the Year 2005)

(Person of the Year 2004)

Multipal Quickies

2006-12-31T15:49:00.000-06:00

I've somehow managed to develop a social life as of recent, so whoops, there goes the ability to post. I missed posting on a lot of things I wanted to...

I was saddened by the loss of James Brown. I've been a fan of his music for quite a while, not to mention the man's effect on popular music. He truly is a legend and will be missed.

Also, for some odd reason... I am upset by Saddam's murder. I don't get this one. The man truly lived the life of an evil bastard. The only good he ever provided the world was as a comical side note to the ugliness of the war in Iraq.

My blog has now surpassed the 25,000 hit mark.

I'd also like to announce I am actually reading a book that doesn't have pictures in it, or a tie to a science fiction series. And no... its not a mainstream book either. I met the author on MySpace and they did their job well... sold me on buying and reading their book. So far I'm liking the book.

In addition, I'd like to use this post to announce the return of blogging legend GayNinjaRobot.

I also have to do my post on person of the year... and a year end music post... I'll probably get to them when i have a couple days off tuesday and wednesday...

until then, Happy New Years everyone, from your blogging four eyed ogre with extra long and shiny hair.

PC Krimmus Tale

2006-12-24T02:50:00.000-06:00

Hey kids, have I ever told you the story of the magical non-religious politically correct holiday known as Krimmus?

No?

Well then, you’re in for a treat. Gather round and I’ll share the story.

Way up north lives a man who goes by the name of Santa Clause. Santa is a jolly, physically fit man. He stays so fit and in shape by exercising regularly, eating healthy, and avoiding sweets.

Santa isn’t single either. He entered into the terms of wedlock with none other than Ms. Rosie the Riveter. Mr. Clause and Ms. Riveter live happily in their comfortable house, which is powered and heated by solar energy and wind turbines.

They both are the sole proprietors of the holiday Krimmus, in which they have a copy write to.

Now, as each has an equal and fair share of this copy write, they both equally share the royalties of the business, although their duties are separate of each other.

Santa is in charge of keeping the ledger, tracking all the children of the world whose parents signed and dated affidavits of consent to have their children’s behavior monitored for eligibility of presents.

Rosie keeps the sleigh and toy factory in proper working order, and negotiates with the elves Union steward.

Now, Santa and Rosie’s sleigh is something to behold of. It can fly without consuming any fossil fuels, causes no pollution, and does not need to be moved by being pulled by animals, as our friends at PETA would be highly against.

The factory is much the same. It doesn’t require fossil fuels to run, and the elves all work 40 hours a week, and are highly compensated with exceptional pay, a generous retirement plan, and full medical and dental coverage!!! Sometimes the elves wonder why they even have a union, and a union steward. Of course the Elvin union is all on the up and up, and is just there to facilitate better communication between management and worker.

Now, every year on December 24^th, Rosie, Santa, and the happy elves load the sleigh to deliver toys to all the good children…

Wait…

What???

We’re sorry. This years PC Krimmus tale has been canceled due to a complaint that Elves are being stereotyped as nothing but workers in a factory.

Time to Bid...

2006-12-22T18:20:00.000-06:00

This is a great description on an Ebay bid.

(click here now and it WILL consume you)