In the Land of 1,000 quotes

• "We all know a fool when we see one -- but not when we are one" - Arnold H. Glasgow (I usually do, cuz the rest of the room is pointing and laughing.)
  
• "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." - Benjamin Disraeli (Alcohol may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without alcohol)
  
• "Charity shall cover the multitude of sins." - Bible (So don't give anything to charity... gotcha)
  
• "There are no facts, only interpretations." - Friedrich Nietzsche (That means as long as I believe it, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks? Oh, the places I could go with this...)
  
• "Wit is educated insolence." - Aristotle (I'd rather be a smartass than a dumbass.)
  
• "Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves." - Gene Fowler (It's all about the Benjamins?)
  
• "No one can earn a million dollars honestly." - William Jennings Bryan (C'mon, not even Martha Stewart, Michael Jackson, or The Donald?)
  
• "There is no education like diversity" - Benjamin Disraeli (Not messing with this one. Makes too much sense.)
  
• "Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree long ago." - Warren Buffet (Someone is eating a bacon cheddar ranch because Hootie sold out a long time ago... or because of Vida Guerra's caboose.)
  
• "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." - (Only if they help you bury the bodies.)
  
• "We do not forgive a giver. The hand that feeds us is in some danger of being bitten." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (now you tell me. I didn't need those fingers anyway.)
  
• "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson (He must have met some of those loud mouthed neo-cons.)