And So It Begins...
Today, is the first day of school.
I hate the apprehension.
Amazing too. This will be the (counts his k-12, previous collegiate semesters, and return semesters up) 24th time I'm experiancing this, yet the nerves are all up again.
Its not like the past years, where actually applying myself I didn't believe in. Hell, I still only give about an 80% effort most of the time anyway, and still do well. Its just that deep down fear of failure.
The classes should technically get more difficult as I advance. I keep expecting to run into something unexpected that's going to completely stump me.
I know I shouldn't be. My GPA since I got back is a 3.7 (too bad I have three semesters from 94-95 at a 1.0 that are killing the official overall gpa.)
But still... there is that apprehension. The fear. Is it of failure? The unknown?
It doesn't matter. Its there, and I'll kill it like I've killed it countless other times. There is no room for failure.
I hate the apprehension.
Amazing too. This will be the (counts his k-12, previous collegiate semesters, and return semesters up) 24th time I'm experiancing this, yet the nerves are all up again.
Its not like the past years, where actually applying myself I didn't believe in. Hell, I still only give about an 80% effort most of the time anyway, and still do well. Its just that deep down fear of failure.
The classes should technically get more difficult as I advance. I keep expecting to run into something unexpected that's going to completely stump me.
I know I shouldn't be. My GPA since I got back is a 3.7 (too bad I have three semesters from 94-95 at a 1.0 that are killing the official overall gpa.)
But still... there is that apprehension. The fear. Is it of failure? The unknown?
It doesn't matter. Its there, and I'll kill it like I've killed it countless other times. There is no room for failure.
posted by Michael at 8/28/2006 02:56:00 AM
Times
3 Comments:
i know exactly how you feel. school technically started for me today, but i have no Monday classes so i start tomorrow. even though i've virtually been a straight A student my whole life, i still get that feeling. i even looked up this semesters' instructors to look at their grading history because i was sure i was going to get some college Nazi. i think my fears are unfounded... hope your first day went well!
you're brilliant! (seriously!)
just thought you could use a written reminder...
christine - day one went well. Then again, all my profs for today (I count my two online classes as mon/wed classes) I've either had as profs before, or as an academic advisor. The scarier day is tomorrow... no experiance with either. Today was technology day, programming classes and IT management... tomorrow is literature and communnication (interviewing). Tomorrow is the true test.
Noe - thanks. I like having a good, inflated, ego going at all times.
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