Bush - Elected Unliked Loser

Bush lost yet another cabinet member today. Colin Powell has resigned as Secretary of State. He was the one guy that was part of his political machine that I actually respected and liked. Just seems to me that his entire staff doesn't like him. His top two cabinet members have resigned. I think this shows how bad the man really is. Republicans face it. Bush sucks, and he brainwashed enough non-republicans into following him to win an election.

The good news is, the brains behind Bush, my hero, the mighty Dick Cheney is still going. I don't agree with his views but for some reason I idolize him. He knows how to play the system and win. He is the Rasputin of our times. I bet he is immortal, and has superpowers, like x-ray vision, super strength, and the ability to cuss people out at any second.

Back to Bush though. I have a few reasons why his cabinet is running away from him like he's a leper with a dirty diaper that hasn't been changed in a month...

George Bush is the Anti-Christ - Bush thinks he is a moral superhero, and saving the world from damnation. In all reality, he is causing a religious war, and is one of the four horsemen of the Apocolypse.

Bush Cheated to win Ohio - The guy who owns the company that made all the electronic voting machines in Ohio... big Republican idiot. He promised to "hand the Ohio vote" to Bush. That is why the exit polls favored Kerry, yet Bush won. A big fat cheater.

Bush is a "Dry Drunk" - Bush has a lot of mental problems, since he quit his addiction without help. It rendered him stubborn and forgetful. He is borderline insane because of it. Many respectable doctors, Michael Moore, and another hero of mine, and respected world leader Fidel Castro think so.

Bush Practices Voodoo - Yes, our conservative christian president practices BLACK MAGIC!!! I know I wouldn't wanna work with someone who could kill me by putting lime in the coconut and drinking em both up.

I bet there are a bunch of other reasons, like bad hygiene and giving wedgies and noogies to people that are making them all leave too. I mean, look at him. He screams giving people wedgies.

(dear Bush followers: I don't like Bush. This entire post is meant to be humorous. If you find it funny, cool. If you take issue, you may take a large chunk of splintered wood, use it as a suppository. Get a grip. Humor is good.)