Hogzilla Is Real

A while back, in the news, I brought you all the tale of Hogzilla. Hogzilla was a wild pig that weighed in at 1000 pounds, and was 12 feet long. National geographic did some investigating on the corpse, and say that it really was a giant hog of enormous proportions.

It's a good thing hogzilla was killed a long time ago. Once hogzilla was a peaceful creature, frolicking amongst the woods. Then, the big bad wolf came. The wolf murdered and killed Hogzillas true love. Hogzilla sought revenge, and ate the wolf.

After that incident, Hogzilla ran wild. The taste of blood consumed his needs. Hogzilla plundered the land, eating livestock, native game animals, and began to feast upon human flesh. Hogzilla began to recruit followers, but unbeknownst to him, one was the mighty Dick Cheney.

Dick originally was trying to catch Hogzilla in the act, but after watching him in action, knew he could not wait on the beurocracy to end Hogzillas mad carnivorous rampage. Dick jumped him, and killed Hogzilla with his bare hands, to save the US. His heroic deed was against the law, but it truly did save us from the threat of Hogzilla.

All should honor and hail the mighty Dick Cheney.