Thats Some Tasty Gum

Forget Doublemint, Bubbleyum, Icebreakers, Trident, EVEN Juicyfruit. None of them stack up to the new gum hitting the market. This gum has phytoestrogens, which are good at impersonating estrogen. Chew this gum, and your boobs can grow BIGGER!!! It can also improve circulation, reduce stress, and fight ageing. All you have to do is chew it three times daily. I'm wondering what it would do to me, if I chewed a pack a day. I bet I could grow a nice, manly set of jugs. I'd be purty. Just gotta fly to Japan and pick up a few cases of B2Up's Bust-Up gum.

Wonder if they would let me be their spokesman?