Old School News
French Lose Another War - Once again, the French prove they can lose a fight like no other. This time, a man lost a fight with a work of art: a urinal. The crazy old man took to a urinal with a ball peen hammer, lucked into cracking it, before being stopped. He has since been fined $262,000. It was his second attempt at trying to kill the "work of art."
Praying For All The Nasty Shit To Go Away - A church rectory (all of ten miles from me) is undergoing more than $100,000 of rennovations. Seems one of the rooms has been filled with animal poopies for at least a decade. After finding this one out, I now know which church I am not going to be attending.
Diaper Sales Soar - There has been a mad rush to buy everyones favorite article of clothing in China: adult didys. Seems there is a holiday coming up, and the trains get really crowded, so people can't get to the bathrooms on the trains, so... you get the picture. Remind me to never ride a train in China.
Men In Prison - That Richie guy from the first season of Survivor was convicted of tax evasion. He faces up to thirteen years in prison. After being found guilty, he burst into an A Capella rendition of "It's Raining Men."
Short Skirt and a Long Jacket - A high school student won his case in court recently to be allowed to wear a skirt to school. He began the stunt as a rebellion against the "no shorts" rule in effect at his high school. He first wore a costume style skirt, and got sent home. He then wore normal skirts... and got sent home. That is when the ACLU stepped in and the lawsuit began. I salute this guy, for standing up to the double standard that women can wear skirts, but we a guy can't. I laugh at this guy, because that is kindaif you ask me.
Speaking of the Ladies... - Everyones favorite black man turned white woman and sponsor of Jesus Juice was spotted recently, shopping with a bunch of his lovers in tow in Bahrain. Of course, being the respectful man, er wo.. individual that... ummm... they are, wore the traditional womanly garb of the middle east. I'm talking full robe and veil.
Support for Alternative Marriage Types - Over in South Korea, the government is considering giving support to farmers who choose to marry in a non-traditional way: mail order brides. Seems they are considering giving a little over $6000 to farmers who order women from other countries to marry them. In this country, we have opposition to same sex marriage, which would bring in large sums of money to the economy (can you picture the amount of money two gay men would spend on a wedding?), on a basis of it's not traditional, and in South Korea, the government is paying people to bring in immigrants to marry farmers. Doesn't that harm marriages sanctuosityness?
Everything is Clintons Fault - Donald Rumsfeld blames the Clinton Administration for our military's current status. I mean, it has to be the president who hasn't been in office for over 5 years fault. It couldn't ever possibly be the fault of the current administration or him, who have been at the controls for the past 5+ years. I like this strategy though. So from now on I am going to blame every problem I ever come across on Herbert Hoover.
...and that concludes our news for the day
Praying For All The Nasty Shit To Go Away - A church rectory (all of ten miles from me) is undergoing more than $100,000 of rennovations. Seems one of the rooms has been filled with animal poopies for at least a decade. After finding this one out, I now know which church I am not going to be attending.
Diaper Sales Soar - There has been a mad rush to buy everyones favorite article of clothing in China: adult didys. Seems there is a holiday coming up, and the trains get really crowded, so people can't get to the bathrooms on the trains, so... you get the picture. Remind me to never ride a train in China.
Men In Prison - That Richie guy from the first season of Survivor was convicted of tax evasion. He faces up to thirteen years in prison. After being found guilty, he burst into an A Capella rendition of "It's Raining Men."
Short Skirt and a Long Jacket - A high school student won his case in court recently to be allowed to wear a skirt to school. He began the stunt as a rebellion against the "no shorts" rule in effect at his high school. He first wore a costume style skirt, and got sent home. He then wore normal skirts... and got sent home. That is when the ACLU stepped in and the lawsuit began. I salute this guy, for standing up to the double standard that women can wear skirts, but we a guy can't. I laugh at this guy, because that is kindaif you ask me.
Speaking of the Ladies... - Everyones favorite black man turned white woman and sponsor of Jesus Juice was spotted recently, shopping with a bunch of his lovers in tow in Bahrain. Of course, being the respectful man, er wo.. individual that... ummm... they are, wore the traditional womanly garb of the middle east. I'm talking full robe and veil.
Support for Alternative Marriage Types - Over in South Korea, the government is considering giving support to farmers who choose to marry in a non-traditional way: mail order brides. Seems they are considering giving a little over $6000 to farmers who order women from other countries to marry them. In this country, we have opposition to same sex marriage, which would bring in large sums of money to the economy (can you picture the amount of money two gay men would spend on a wedding?), on a basis of it's not traditional, and in South Korea, the government is paying people to bring in immigrants to marry farmers. Doesn't that harm marriages sanctuosityness?
Everything is Clintons Fault - Donald Rumsfeld blames the Clinton Administration for our military's current status. I mean, it has to be the president who hasn't been in office for over 5 years fault. It couldn't ever possibly be the fault of the current administration or him, who have been at the controls for the past 5+ years. I like this strategy though. So from now on I am going to blame every problem I ever come across on Herbert Hoover.
...and that concludes our news for the day
posted by Michael at 1/25/2006 11:51:00 PM
Times
2 Comments:
Michael, I think you'd be perfect doing late night television work...I love your random stories. Give Leno a call. =)
i finally figured out what's different... you flipped the sidebar to the other side! that's been bugging me, i knew it looked different somehow!
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