Froyd and Jose's Questions
Froyd's Questions and My Answers
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Engineering students at my University, Purdue, had previously designed a licking machine. The machine itself was modeled after the human tongue. Using it, they had determined it takes on average 364 licks to get to the center. They also tested with 20 volunteers, who on average took 252 licks.
does captain crunch ever go soggy?
The captain crunch I grew up with did. It was the biggest form of false advertisement I've ever experianced in my lifetime. An entire bowl of it would go soggy after being in direct contact with milk for 2 seconds. In fact, a whole bowl would go soggy within a minute if the rooms ambient humidity level was above 75%. It has been brought to my attention from the Gravy Queen, that the current formula for Captain Crunch contains fiberglass, and therefore cannot go soggy.
when I say jump, do you ask how high?
No. After laughing hysterically for ten minutes, I use my mystical powers to summen the ancient god Priapus, who comes down from the sky and has his way with you. You then shriek in delight, and shout jump like you were a member of Kriss Kross.
Jose's Questions
Do they put underwear on corp[s]es?
No they don't. It would take the morticians, undertakers, and cleaning crew too long to remove them when they have sex with the bodies. No underwear allows much easier access.
Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when it really just came on?
Because people are dumb. 60% of the modern population doesn't have the intellect to realize that half of the things they do are that stupid. Most people will buy more random shit in a checkout line if it is marked as being $1 than if it was $0.89. But, because the majority is a bunch of idiots, the rest of us are stuck saying things like that, even if it is ass backwards.
If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at Sunrise?
No. Those who practice Judiasm are in league with vampires. That is how kosher blood letting of meats began. Live animals were hung upside down, and the vampires would attack them, and drink the animals blood, killing them. It was then kosher to eat the animal.
Why don't they make mouse-flavored cat food?
PETA has stood in the way of this from ever happening. They would rather shove hot metal pokers in their asses than to let a single mouse be killed to determine its flavor for the cat food industry.
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
There are no actors on Unsolved Mysteries. The show has a time machine, where it goes back and films these horrific acts being done. They don't do anything, because it would alter the timeline, with possibly cataclismic results. If you ever see someone who claims to be a re-enactment actor on the show, they are really a heinous villain, and should be shot on sight.
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Engineering students at my University, Purdue, had previously designed a licking machine. The machine itself was modeled after the human tongue. Using it, they had determined it takes on average 364 licks to get to the center. They also tested with 20 volunteers, who on average took 252 licks.
does captain crunch ever go soggy?
The captain crunch I grew up with did. It was the biggest form of false advertisement I've ever experianced in my lifetime. An entire bowl of it would go soggy after being in direct contact with milk for 2 seconds. In fact, a whole bowl would go soggy within a minute if the rooms ambient humidity level was above 75%. It has been brought to my attention from the Gravy Queen, that the current formula for Captain Crunch contains fiberglass, and therefore cannot go soggy.
when I say jump, do you ask how high?
No. After laughing hysterically for ten minutes, I use my mystical powers to summen the ancient god Priapus, who comes down from the sky and has his way with you. You then shriek in delight, and shout jump like you were a member of Kriss Kross.
Jose's Questions
Do they put underwear on corp[s]es?
No they don't. It would take the morticians, undertakers, and cleaning crew too long to remove them when they have sex with the bodies. No underwear allows much easier access.
Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when it really just came on?
Because people are dumb. 60% of the modern population doesn't have the intellect to realize that half of the things they do are that stupid. Most people will buy more random shit in a checkout line if it is marked as being $1 than if it was $0.89. But, because the majority is a bunch of idiots, the rest of us are stuck saying things like that, even if it is ass backwards.
If a vampire were Jewish would his Sabbath start at Sunrise?
No. Those who practice Judiasm are in league with vampires. That is how kosher blood letting of meats began. Live animals were hung upside down, and the vampires would attack them, and drink the animals blood, killing them. It was then kosher to eat the animal.
Why don't they make mouse-flavored cat food?
PETA has stood in the way of this from ever happening. They would rather shove hot metal pokers in their asses than to let a single mouse be killed to determine its flavor for the cat food industry.
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
There are no actors on Unsolved Mysteries. The show has a time machine, where it goes back and films these horrific acts being done. They don't do anything, because it would alter the timeline, with possibly cataclismic results. If you ever see someone who claims to be a re-enactment actor on the show, they are really a heinous villain, and should be shot on sight.
posted by Michael at 1/16/2006 10:45:00 PM
Times
6 Comments:
lies!
If it's on the internet, then it must be true!
Gracias Michael.
Froyd - Not all are lies. I shall list the truth of each.
Tootsie Pop - all true. Just useless info I retained, and looked up for the right numbers.
Capt. Crunch - That one is my honest opinion, and I was told that the current recipe doesn't go soggy by the Gravy Queen. The fiberglass part is kinda false.
Jump - Me laughing hysterically would be true. The rest... the rest is yet to be determined.
Underwear - I made that shit up.
Alarm - That one I truly believe, and there have been tests done on the 89 cents vs. a dollar, and the dollar one sadly enough is true. Just the mindless things you learn from being a retail manager.
Vampire - false. We vampires don't like to drink from upside down animals.
Mouse catfood - unknown, but seemed like a viable reason.
unsolved mysteries - makes sense to me. Odds are its false though.
Ann - Me either. I liked the creativity on the questions though. Made it a lot more fun. (i'll still take questions people)
Jose - how very true, and de nada.
Those were hysterical answers! :D
My questions:
What is the meaning of life?
On episode one three nine dash six, act two scene one of, Star Trek: The Next Generation, when counselor Troy bends over slightly to grab a glass of water off the table in the ready room, wasn’t that cool?
Also what would your suggestions be for college graduates who are entering the work force with degrees in creative writing and women’s studies?
You remember the damnest things say I!
Yeah, I do have an odd memory.
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