Granny Loves TV - She's Gonna Come Back Too
A woman left strict instructions for her family: when she dies, she doesn't want to be shown, and that she was going to come back from the dead, so don't do anything silly like bury her, take her out of the house, etc.
So, they left her upstairs, turned the AC on, and blocked the door to the staircase upstairs with a blanket.
Granny stayed upstairs watching reruns of Gilligans Island, Maury Povich sending kids to bootcamp, and the Beverly Hillbillies for a few years. She still didn't come back. She did do a wonderful job of decomposing/mummifying and filling the upstairs with the wonderful fragrance of death. I think they sell death scented incense at gas stations...
I think granny made a bad decision. See, if I was gonna make a comeback, I'd leave much different instructions. Take my rotting corpse out partying Weekend at Bernies style. I want lapdances, alcohol, drugs, hookers... you name it. If its bad for you or can kill ya, I want it after I'm already dead. Can't make ya more dead right?
Not my intentions though. In the immortal words of Stephen Wright: "I plan on living forever. So far, so good."
So, they left her upstairs, turned the AC on, and blocked the door to the staircase upstairs with a blanket.
Granny stayed upstairs watching reruns of Gilligans Island, Maury Povich sending kids to bootcamp, and the Beverly Hillbillies for a few years. She still didn't come back. She did do a wonderful job of decomposing/mummifying and filling the upstairs with the wonderful fragrance of death. I think they sell death scented incense at gas stations...
I think granny made a bad decision. See, if I was gonna make a comeback, I'd leave much different instructions. Take my rotting corpse out partying Weekend at Bernies style. I want lapdances, alcohol, drugs, hookers... you name it. If its bad for you or can kill ya, I want it after I'm already dead. Can't make ya more dead right?
Not my intentions though. In the immortal words of Stephen Wright: "I plan on living forever. So far, so good."
posted by Michael at 1/10/2006 03:51:00 PM
Times
3 Comments:
Isn't that like, ilegal? keeping the TV on for that long can up really do a number on the electricity bill. What the hell are they thinking?
LOL, kudos to you, Michael, for finding the most random of stories once again. You're quite talented at this, you know!
I, too, would prefer Weekend at Bernie's style to the TV...if those were my only options. Mostly I think I'd just like to be left in peace.
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