I Heard That

"Sometimes you want an orange but you get handed a tangerine." - Myself (I really wish philosophy was a paying career. I'd go into it.)

"There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line." - Oscar Levant (This man is my hero. Without him I would just be known as insane.)

"Some men are just as sure of the truth of their opinions as are others of what they know." - Aristotle (He must have met a Bush supporter too.)

"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens." - Nick Diamos (What was that? I missed it.)

"I do not participate in any sport that has ambulances at the bottom of the hill." - Erma Bombeck (No downhill skiing. How about ultimate fighting? Its just you and someone else in an octagon.)

"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry." - (Yeah, and the trouble with life in the slow lane is your stuck breathing diesel fumes while a bunch of assholes cut you off getting on and off the road.)

"We all came on different ships, but we are in the same boat now." - Martin Luthar King Jr. (That boats name is the S.S. Minnow, it is up Shitte Creek, and we have no paddle.)

"To do carefully and constantly and kindly many little things is not a little thing." - Author Unknown (I wouldn't take credit for that run-on sentence either, even if it IS true.)

"There is no person who is not dangerous for someone." - Marie de Sevigne (Even if I am wearing a t-shirt that says 'plays well with others'?)

"Bride: a woman with a fine prosect of happiness behind her." - Ambrose Bierce (Husband: a man who just sold his soul to satan. Heh. Two can play the sexist game you evil wench-beast.)