News for the Criminally Insane

Two-faced Cat - (the link is a video of the kitty, very graphic) A cat was born with two faces. Two mouths, two noses, four eyes... This is creepy. Its alive, it suckles from its momma, only one mouth works. Just... EEEK!!!

Gangsta Kitty - So, some idiot leaves his loaded gun on the kitchen counter. Then said idiots cat jumps on the counter, and knocks the gun on the ground. Said idiot gets shot. Kitty tried to put that MF down for not scooping the litter box, or feeding em stale cat food. The moral of the story? Treat your pets right, or they'll bust a cap in your ass!!!

Can I Get a Witness? - A man writes a letter to someone before he is murdered. That individual gets subpoena'd. That indivdual isn't allowed to testify, and gets sent home. Why? Because, that individual is his dog. What kinda weirdo writes letters to their pets? Last time I checked, pets don't read. They don't understand every word you say either. They will respond to voices, so if it was a tape... ok. But a fucking letter? I'm gonna set up an e-mail account for my cat...

Huntin' Season - Some criminal mastermind in Wisconscin wants a new animal placed on a hunting list. The domestic cat. They kill wild birds, and he loves birds so much he probably has sex with pidgeons. So, if fluffy sneaks out of the house, this yahoo is gonna bust a cap in fluffy's ass. At least that is what he wants. Fucking sick asshole. I hope birds shit on him daily for the rest of his life.

Can You Order This From a Canadian Pharmacy? - 37 people in Oregon committed suicide in 2004 by their Dr. Assisted suicide law. Only state to have one, since the US Supreme court deemed that would be an issue to be decided by each individual state. Of course the dubs administration wants to convict the doctors who prescribed the drugs of murder. If I sell someone a bottle of drano, which could be used to commit suicide, or a steak knife, am I liable? I worked in retail for over 7 years, I'm sure something I was involved with, either stocking, ordering, etc. was involved in a suicide or murder. Might have been 6 years since I sold it, but it eventually found its mark. Should I get locked up? I was doing what the law said I could do.

Republican Press - A trusted, and highly conservative member of the press, that covered the white house, was brought down and resigned because of liberal bloggers. Conservative sites want him to be left alone. What did this member of the press do? Oh, just possibly some gay prostitution. I see it now... In the minds of conservatives, its ok to be gay as long as you sleep around and get paid for it. If you have a stable relationship, and are monogomous, you are the work of the devil and have no rights.

Abu Gharib Kiddy Porn - Part of the systematic torture at Abu Gharib was done on those under the age of 18. Some were tortured to get to their parents who were being held, some were tortured for info they might have, like 17 year old girls forced to flash male soldiers. We had quite the gang bang going on over there. Male naked piles, statutory rape... Is this our idea of spreading liberty to other lands? War may be ugly, people get hurt and killed. That doesn't justify actions like that.

Hussein Capture Fake? - A new conspiracy theory on the capture of Saddam. He may have actually lived up to his words, and fought, getting in a gunfight with US forces. He did give in, since there was no way out, but of course the military propoganda machine that brings daring rescues of women from hospitals brought another compelling storyline of a beaten Saddam hiding in a well. The military needs better story writers. We need more aliens in the story, maybe some mind control of Saddam by the spirit of Mahatma Ghandi... THAT would sell.

Good Use of Congress - Since we have a huge budget deficit, are at war, and many internal problems, our legislative branch is focusing on a very important issue: MLB and steroid use. Listen, I don't care if baseball players are roiding. They want their balls to shrink and to die at a young age, fine. I'm more worried about other issues. Baseball is taking care of the shit. Let them do it. You take care of things that ACTUALLY EFFECT ME!!!!! Barry Bonds and his horse hormones don't matter, it has nothing to do with my well being.

Arrest That Kid - A child's father was taken down and arrested for a heinous crime in front of her. He was helping her sell girl scout cookies without a permit. Heaven forbid a father get involved in their daughter's life, and assist them in something that is very important to them. Can't have that kind of family involvement. She might grow up to be a strong, independent woman with upbringing like that.

Sex Ed - The thought is, should sex ed in schools only teach abstinance? Don't do it won't work. If two kids wanna get freaky, they will. Saying no just reinforces the rebellious nature of most teens. So, teaching them what condoms are, and their usage, might be "sinful" to some. What's the greater sin, a girl having protected sex at 15, or a girl having a bastard child at 15? Protected sex at 15, or getting a VD at 15? Teenagers have sex. Turn on your TV, watch some movies, pay attention to the statistics. The DARE program said say no. Still have drug users...

King Tut Not Murdered - After a CT scan, scientists believe King Tutankhamen was not murdered. In reading the article, I did figure out the curse of the mummy. While moving him, they found the kings lost penis!!! If my resting place were disturbed, and a bunch of bastards lost my happy part, I'd be really fucking pissed. I'd haunt, and curse, and kill every single one of them. Gotta respect the dead man's manhood. I'm sure it was kinda dried up and stuff, but its still his wang. Treat it with respect.

The Bizkit Wasn't Limp - Fred Durst is the most recent celebrity victim of a stolen sex tape. A video of him having sex with some girl was stolen, and is online. Of course I had to watch it, and it rates even lower than the Paris Hilton video. Fred, you are NO Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee was packing. Him and Pam showed some talent. You and your little friend showed none. Two eighty year old people fuck with more talent and energy than you.

Ring Tones - A company has now made ring tones for phones that are Porn stars moaning. Just what you want on your phone when in church, at work, talking to Mom or the kids... Nothing better than hearing John Dough groan to tell you your sister is calling.

Part of Old Testament Proven True - In one of the rare indications of science meeting religion, a test was done. A tunnel built in 700 B.C. according to the Bible, had the morter carbon dated and showed that it was built during that time. I love this. Science and religion meeting to prove they are both in synch. Most religious items don't get tested due to fears that science might prove an article false. That shows a huge lack of faith by those who fight it. If your faith is strong, let it be tested... or do those who hold these items question their faith?

Next Gov. of Louisiana? - Carl Weathers, best known for playing Apollo Creed in the Rocky movies, is running for Governor. If he were to win, that would mean that three people who starred in the movie Preditor would have been governors. Arnold "If it bleeds, we can kill it" Schwartzenegger, Jesse "I ain't got time to bleed" Ventura, and Carl Weathers. (whom I can't remember a kick ass line from the movie at the present time.)

20 Meanest US Cities - A listing of the 20 meanest cities in the US came out. My nearest major city did not make it. I'm nice. There were three states that seemed to be stockpiled heavily in it though. California, home of Fascist dictator Ahnold, Texas, where dubs claims his residency, and Florida, where Jebby resides. No wonder why I've thought the Bush children were assholes.

...thank you, drive thru