Deep Thoughts: Mustache
I've been thinking lately about the mustache. You know, that hair growth beneath the nose of some men. Not the combination of a mustache with the goatee that everyone seems to walk around with now. No no. But the lone mustache, and those who now have it.
After coming up with numerous groups, I narrowed it down to four. Everyone who has a mustache fits into one of these groups. Even people from history can fit into one of these groups.
1. Porn Star - We've all seen em. These are the people who show off their sexual prowess through hair on their upper lip. They just emit a level of masculinity that others fear and/or respect. Famous "Porn Stars" are Ron Jeremy, Super Mario, Rip Taylor, and Irene Ryan.
2. Stuck in the Eighties/Gay - The infamous group number two. Its filled with those we make fun of (stuck in the eighties) and those we love (gay). The two truly go hand in hand in the world of the mustachioed. Some who fall into this catagory are Tom Selleck, Freddie Mercury, Hulk Hogan, and Geraldo Rivera.
3. Wilford Brimley - this group is that older guy. You know he's well past his prime, but you know better than to mess with him, cuz he'll kill you and skin you with his rusted out swiss army knife before you can ask him if he got it on with Miss Daisy. People who fall into this catagory are Wilford Brimley, Cheech Marin, Mr. Belvedere, and Saddam Hussein.
4. Child Molestors/Serial Killers - Then, there is this group. The sick element of society. Some well known people fall into this catagory: Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolph Hitler, John Wayne Gacy, and Don King (He's been molesting Tyson for years).
I hope this brings all of you into a deeper understanding of the mustache, and its significance.
After coming up with numerous groups, I narrowed it down to four. Everyone who has a mustache fits into one of these groups. Even people from history can fit into one of these groups.
1. Porn Star - We've all seen em. These are the people who show off their sexual prowess through hair on their upper lip. They just emit a level of masculinity that others fear and/or respect. Famous "Porn Stars" are Ron Jeremy, Super Mario, Rip Taylor, and Irene Ryan.
2. Stuck in the Eighties/Gay - The infamous group number two. Its filled with those we make fun of (stuck in the eighties) and those we love (gay). The two truly go hand in hand in the world of the mustachioed. Some who fall into this catagory are Tom Selleck, Freddie Mercury, Hulk Hogan, and Geraldo Rivera.
3. Wilford Brimley - this group is that older guy. You know he's well past his prime, but you know better than to mess with him, cuz he'll kill you and skin you with his rusted out swiss army knife before you can ask him if he got it on with Miss Daisy. People who fall into this catagory are Wilford Brimley, Cheech Marin, Mr. Belvedere, and Saddam Hussein.
4. Child Molestors/Serial Killers - Then, there is this group. The sick element of society. Some well known people fall into this catagory: Jeffrey Dahmer, Adolph Hitler, John Wayne Gacy, and Don King (He's been molesting Tyson for years).
I hope this brings all of you into a deeper understanding of the mustache, and its significance.
posted by Michael at 3/22/2006 05:00:00 PM
Times
11 Comments:
Wow,
BTW, is that your picture in the 4th category?
LMAO!!!
No, its not. I've got a goatee, no stache, and my hair is down to my shoulders.
Also, that Tom Selleck autograph isn't mine. Wish it was. I'd be sooooo cool with a Tom Selleck autograph.
waitwait...where does my moustache fall in? Oh wait, never mind. I've got a goatee.
Froyd, you, without a single doubt in my mind, would fall into the Wilford Brimley catagory if you just had the stache.
Oooooh, Tom Selleck. :) Gotta love the overflowage of chest hair as well, he he.
Thanks for that tutorial, Michael. I will be passing it along to others!
Ann - I have no clue who the fourth person is. I did a google picture search for mustache, and that pic was in several spots. The guy just looks creepy to me. So... his image got used for the scary catagory #4.
Leah - no problem, glad I could provide further help to the world.
HAHA
I've got the 'tache goatie combo going on here. But everyso often I get bored and work on new style incorporating beard and sideburns.
Someday I'll go for the old man one and get myself a pipe.
Always had a mustache (like old Tom S.), last couple of years had the goatee thing going. Was thinking about shaving the beard.
Thanks...Now that can never happen.
Adem & Polyman - Nothing wrong if you can pull off the Wilford Brimley look. That one is the winning one of them all. Porn Star and eighties/gay are quite alright, but some of the population isn't into that thing. The only problem is if you fall into catagory 4 territory... because no one will tell you that you look like a rapist/child molester because of your stache.
oh mr t, thank goodness men (and some women) of the world have you there to explain their personality based on their facial hair- I LOVE IT!
my dad has a mustache, i don't think he's ever not had one since i've been alive... he trims it with his teeth, kind of nasty if you ask me, but maybe it's one of those man things i don't understand... i guess he falls into the third category....
i'm sad the tom selleck pic isn't yours, i was getting a kick out of picturing it hangin over your computer in some special place on your wall... oh well....
Post a Comment
<< Home