Broken News

Man Shoots Himself to Avoid Going to Iraq - OK, back in the days of a draft, I understood someone shooting themself in the foot or leg to avoid service. Why, would you sign up in the volunteer armed forces, and then shoot yourself because of war? HELLO!!!!! That is what you are there for. We get a trigger happy President, which we've had for four years now, your getting shipped off. You signed your own ass up. Live up to it. I may be against the war, but I'm more against something else, dumb asses like you.

Man Shoots His Friend on a Dare - This sounds like one of my friends from high schools dreams, and my opposite. "Dude, I wanna get shot wearing a bullet proof vest." His words, not mine. Well, these two mental giants tried it. They tested the vest first, by shooting it up against a solid, bullet proof object, aka rock. It stopped the bullet alright. Too bad it wasn't a bullet proof vest. It was designed for shrapnel. Luckily it was a shot to the stomach. He'll live.

Man Shoots Man in Osama Mask - Another person who was almost weeded out of the gene pool. His bright idea. Put on a Bin Laden mask. Get a toy gun. Jump out and point the gun at people. He forgot that some people carry real guns. Cab driver shot him. (Yes, they have been known to pack.) I bet Osama wanna be really thinks his joke is funny now.

Christmas at Neverland - OK. I don't understand this one. Approxamately 200 children got their dream to enjoy a day playing at an accused sex offenders house. The accused child molestors trial is scheduled to begin in January I do believe. Now that is what I call parental concern and love.

Houston Hits a Bus - Whitney Houston, somehow, managed to rear end a bus. I'm just glad that for a change she isn't in the news for smoking crack with Bobby while doing 90 in her Porshe while drinking a fifth of Tanqueray.

Casino Cams On the Money - A bunch of casino workers were fired, for getting up close on some womens cleavage with the cameras. This is one of those things that I don't get entirely. I look at the reason they should be fired as they were too busy wacking off than doing their job, not the checking out women. Why? Simple. If you don't want someone looking at it, cover it up. I don't walk around with my nuts hanging out, because I don't want people staring at them. If I did have my nuts hanging out, you may stare all you want.

Pot Flavored Candy - OK, this is just nasty. Some company is making pot flavored candy. "Lawmakers" are complaining that this will increase marijauna use amongst children. I disagree. This will make kids realize how nasty the stuff is (hello, they call it skunk for a reason) and NOT use it. I know the last thing I want right now is a fat chronic sucker, blunt, joint, or anything else along those lines.

God Hates Shrimp - Interesting site. Worth a visit. I never know if places like this are serious or tongue in cheek.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Starring Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka, and Directed by my hero, Tim Burton. Have to wait till summer though. Thank you Almighty Goth for this one.

Rate My Kitten - Awwww yeeeeaaaaaah.... Nothing but pics of Kitties. Some fuzzier than others. Most not clothed. Some with collars. No visible fleas. You get to rate em too. Which Kitty you like better than the others. Make sure you view this at work, with a big monitor in a main office. You'll draw a crowd. You can thank my lil brudder (no relation) for this one.

...and that concludes our news update for the week.