Analyzing Paganism
I must confess, I read my horoscope. Its text messaged to my phone every morning. I'm even a big enough dork to have done my full on astrological chart. (I had a friend think this was some simple task, but it involves your birth time, and literally where every single planet was at the time you were born. Its not as simple as "virgo.")
Of course, with the new year, these fun little astrology sites have your "yearly" horoscopes. So, I am going to take and post my prediction for 2005, and analyze it with my own special deductive skills.
You'll probably find the first half of 2005 to be quite different from the second, Virgo. During winter and spring, you'll be thinking over money matters, and trying to get things settled. In summer and fall, you may feel the need to hibernate for a while to get your energy level back to where it was before all the excitement started -- and these seasons will be exciting, for several reasons.
Ok, that means I'm broke now. CORRECT. So, I have to bust ass to get caught up, then I'll be worn out and not do shit for the other half of the year. Sounds like crap to me.
Still, you'll have nothing but success when it comes to finances, especially if you're working with a partner. Jupiter, the benevolent king of the gods, will spend most of the year helping you to make sound financial decisions and choose the right partners. Listen carefully to the advice of elders around the end of January. A relationship will heat up and turn quite passionate around the end of February -- and it will stay that way through March.
Money wise I'll do good, and get out of my current hellhole. I like that. Listen to the advice of elders (my guess is the two old people I live with who share DNA with me, supposedly). Heated up and passionate relationship around end of February through March. That means I'm getting some, right? CUE THE PORN MUSIC!!!
A pair of eclipses during April will get your spring off to an amazing start -- especially when it comes to intimate matters and joint finances. Someone from out of town may also make a rather stunning entrance into your life. Tend to your career responsibilities during May and June, and expect to be rewarded by authority figures as early as June 4th. Secrets and whispers will be on the agenda at the end of June, so expect to be spending some time behind closed doors -- but not necessarily alone.
Half of this crap is jibberish. I'm taking this as someone is gonna show up out of nowhere, and confuse the bejeezus out of me. Work and finances will go good, and I'm gonna be getting more booty than shaft since that intimate matters and closed doors not alone referance thing. I'm just a bit worried I'm gonna end up being a scumbag of sorts because of the whispers and someone showing up unexpected from outta town. What if its like, some rich supermodel who has been reading my blog all this time and wants me for my mind? It is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states, and Canada.
Summer will arrive with the chance to join forces with a whole new group, either for spiritual or metaphysical reasons. You'll get an awful lot out of their company and their influence, so don't hesitate to get totally involved. Your birthday will be extra fun this year, thanks to a new Moon and a full Moon, bringing along surprises and lots of fast-paced change.
I join a wacked out religious cult this summer. My birthday is fun as my new cult family helps me celebrate my 29th year of exhistance in human form. We have to run from the authorities, which brings about a lot of fast paced change.
If you're in need of the advice of a professional during fall, rest assured that you'll find someone who can help during October or November. Look around carefully, do your homework and be sure to investigate all your options before you sign on the dotted line. Expect long-distance friends and family to come along during the holidays, making them especially merry. Enjoy!
I'll need a lawyer or a psychiatrist in the fall, and I'll find someone who can help. I'll have to look carefully, and investigate all options before I sign the dotted line (no public defenders). My family/friends will travel cross country to visit me in jail/loony bin to make me merry.
...and that concludes the summary of my 2005
Of course, with the new year, these fun little astrology sites have your "yearly" horoscopes. So, I am going to take and post my prediction for 2005, and analyze it with my own special deductive skills.
You'll probably find the first half of 2005 to be quite different from the second, Virgo. During winter and spring, you'll be thinking over money matters, and trying to get things settled. In summer and fall, you may feel the need to hibernate for a while to get your energy level back to where it was before all the excitement started -- and these seasons will be exciting, for several reasons.
Ok, that means I'm broke now. CORRECT. So, I have to bust ass to get caught up, then I'll be worn out and not do shit for the other half of the year. Sounds like crap to me.
Still, you'll have nothing but success when it comes to finances, especially if you're working with a partner. Jupiter, the benevolent king of the gods, will spend most of the year helping you to make sound financial decisions and choose the right partners. Listen carefully to the advice of elders around the end of January. A relationship will heat up and turn quite passionate around the end of February -- and it will stay that way through March.
Money wise I'll do good, and get out of my current hellhole. I like that. Listen to the advice of elders (my guess is the two old people I live with who share DNA with me, supposedly). Heated up and passionate relationship around end of February through March. That means I'm getting some, right? CUE THE PORN MUSIC!!!
A pair of eclipses during April will get your spring off to an amazing start -- especially when it comes to intimate matters and joint finances. Someone from out of town may also make a rather stunning entrance into your life. Tend to your career responsibilities during May and June, and expect to be rewarded by authority figures as early as June 4th. Secrets and whispers will be on the agenda at the end of June, so expect to be spending some time behind closed doors -- but not necessarily alone.
Half of this crap is jibberish. I'm taking this as someone is gonna show up out of nowhere, and confuse the bejeezus out of me. Work and finances will go good, and I'm gonna be getting more booty than shaft since that intimate matters and closed doors not alone referance thing. I'm just a bit worried I'm gonna end up being a scumbag of sorts because of the whispers and someone showing up unexpected from outta town. What if its like, some rich supermodel who has been reading my blog all this time and wants me for my mind? It is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states, and Canada.
Summer will arrive with the chance to join forces with a whole new group, either for spiritual or metaphysical reasons. You'll get an awful lot out of their company and their influence, so don't hesitate to get totally involved. Your birthday will be extra fun this year, thanks to a new Moon and a full Moon, bringing along surprises and lots of fast-paced change.
I join a wacked out religious cult this summer. My birthday is fun as my new cult family helps me celebrate my 29th year of exhistance in human form. We have to run from the authorities, which brings about a lot of fast paced change.
If you're in need of the advice of a professional during fall, rest assured that you'll find someone who can help during October or November. Look around carefully, do your homework and be sure to investigate all your options before you sign on the dotted line. Expect long-distance friends and family to come along during the holidays, making them especially merry. Enjoy!
I'll need a lawyer or a psychiatrist in the fall, and I'll find someone who can help. I'll have to look carefully, and investigate all options before I sign the dotted line (no public defenders). My family/friends will travel cross country to visit me in jail/loony bin to make me merry.
...and that concludes the summary of my 2005
posted by Michael at 1/05/2005 10:51:00 AM
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