And Why Were You Named That?

I just read another article on "Most Popular Baby Names." The current trend is Celtic. Great. Trendy names. I was gifted with one of the most common names to ever grace the face of the earth. A couple of you know it. Those of you who don't I am sure are not surpised that Mr. Toolbox is not my given name. Its actually just something a random Republican called me one day and I fell in love with it. Well... minus the Mr. I added that part. Sounds more distinguished that way. Ack. Off that tangent, back to the real subject, baby names.

Celtic is the trend. When asked why parents choose the name, they give reasons like the sound, unusual spelling, popularity... I say BULLSHIT. Try running around, with way too many people with your name, that everyone has to go by a damn nickname. I like my name, I like my nickname(s), but it is hard when in a professional situation I get introduced by both, or there are eight introductions with the same first name.

Add into that, uncommon spellings? Good idea, confuse the kid. Have his teachers tell him he is spellling his name wrong. You know some teachers aren't too bright. Not all, but over the course of the years, think back... We all had those select few teachers that were real dipshits. Your child is due to have a couple too. Don't add to the mix by spelling their name wrong to make them different.

Now, here is how to name your kid. Pick a name with some damn meaning to you. Yes, there is an idea. A name that means something. That great aunt or uncle that you didn't know all too well, but just seemed cool as hell. That dude from second grade that you remember that was your best freind for a year. Someone famous that you like, even if they aren't a role model, you don't have to tell your kids they were named after porn stars. This is my son Ron Jeremy Smith and my daughter Jenna Smith...

I've got an idea for my kids, if I ever have any. My children will be named after heroin addicts from rock groups. First born son will be Layne (after Layne Staley from Alice In Chains.) The rest are open to negotiation. But there are so many to choose from. You have Scott (Weiland), Kurt (Cobain), Courtney (Love), Janice (Joplin), Jimi (Hendrix), Ozzy (Osborne)... the list could go on forever.

Just use some originality people. Don't follow the trend and be part of the mainstream. But, whatever you do, don't give your child a name that is guarenteed to get them beat up, made fun of, and the like. So no Berthas, Hortenses, Cecils, Brunhildas, Leslies or Terrys for boys, etc. Be good to your kids. Think.

(popular kids names article)