America and Its Penis

While reading Froyd's blog, I found a comment that got me thinking. It involved America and its Penis. Just a brief warning, this post has some lewd sexual referances to it.

As I, and pretty much every Liberal and Conservative American feel, America has the biggest and best penis in the world. We walk around the world, head held high, wearing spandex shorts to showcase our enormous bulge. Usually the mere site of it causes all those problem nations in the world to cower in fear of it. About five years ago, we got a good swift kick to it, and it dropped us to our knees for five seconds.

We got right up, and we were pissed. We knew it came from the middle east, as it has been naughty for some time. We went over there, bent the middle east over, and gave it to em right in their Afghanistan. Took care of that, right?

Wrong.

dubs, being the devout Conservative christian boy that he is, felt empowered by it. He wanted to continue to use the penis. He just lost his virginity, and wasn't going to go on a drought without using it. So, he looked, and dove straight into the first hole he saw.

It was Iraq. Too bad Iraq was the belly button of the middle east. Its a hole and all, but... not the one that needed to be stuck. We needed to sit back a few more minutes, instead of being an excited little boy. The spot that needed to be stuck turned out to be a little further away in Iran.

Bubba wouldn't have made a mistake like that. He knows where to stick it, as any other liberal would. Leave it to a conservative, and the first hole that pops up gets stuck, be it a belly button, an ear...

Now, the mouth of the middle east that we normally kiss, Israel, is spewing a lot of filth. Now, are we going to threaten that mouth, or are we gonna stick it a little farther north in the nostril?