Key Word Search

Its fun having a few stats kept track of on your blogs, like how people have found you. The words that they use to search you out is especially entertaining. You wanna raise the level of hits to your website quickly? Brittany Spears. You just doubled your hits. Add a Brittany Spears and Shar Jackson and suddenly you have more hits than Cheech and Chong.

I did a little collection between my various blogs, journals, and so forth that I've had and dug up all the searches people have used and somehow ended up finding me. They vary from the common, the scientific and intellectual, the pervish, to the downright nasty and disgusting. Of course, commentary will follow. I am even going to provide links for some.

• (9) Brittany Spears - Yes, the little trolip topped the list of hits to everything I had. Believe it or not, having never met her, I don't have a secret stash of pornagraphy involving her. I'm sure some other recluse does though.
• (5) RCV 22:20 by Puscifer Lyrics - Told everyone yesterday this was a popular song.
• (4) Gall Bladder - I have yet to find a web page that does anything justice on this one, and I'm not about to write one just yet. Its an organ. You can live without it. I'm alive with mine removed.
• (3) Shar Jackson - Star of such great movies as "Good Burger." Sad to say, Brittany stealing her loser boyfriend was probably her best career move ever.
• (2) Underwear goes on the inside - I used to have two links to this. One web page killed it, the other cut the video from 3 minutes down to 30 seconds. Its pointless now. Was funny, but had a really deep social commentary. If I ever come across a working link to the full thing, I'll post it again.
• (2) Raven Simone - Amazing, you make a comment one day on your blog that while flipping stations you see the little girl from the Cosby show is now all grown up, and at 19 years old is... well built, and suddenly your blog gets a few hits that are seeking indecent pictures.
• (2) Cemetary Gates by Pantera lyrics - Simple enough. Just one of the greatest metal songs ever written, lyrically and musically.
• Curvy African Latino - Uh huh... this one leaves me speechless.
• Hawaiian Porn - There is something sexy about a coconut bra.
• Lessons on writing a pre-nuptual agreement - wow, this one sound intelligent, well thought out... how'd they get to me?
• Jeopardy Theme Song - OK, can you say... LOSER!!!!!! Who the hell wants to listen to that damn song? Thats one of those, oh fuck, its stuck in my head AGAIN songs. Here's an idea, turn on the radio, and listen to some Brittany Spears or Justin Timberlake, its all the originality your brain can handle.
• Haircuts rectangular face shape - (see comment below)
• fine short hair styles round faces glasses - I shaved my head with a gillette mach 3 razor for 5 consecutive years, and am now going to grow my hair long. Would you want me as your hair stylist?
• I'm too sexy free Karaoke Downloads - Someone after my own heart. I love you, and if you're a woman and sexy, will you marry me? Although I have yet to sing that song... but I will one day.
• Blonde Spikey Mullet - Noyce. I was thinking about going with a purple mullet myself, but decided against it.
• Those Damn Blue Collar Tweekers - Excellent choice. Very excellent. Brings a tear to me eye.
• Phillipino Health Beliefs - I remember my post on this one, and why a search would bring someone to me. They were looking for something real, and got a precurser to my version of the news.
• Girls Showing Boobs - Yet, another search for pornography. If you want to find porn, hit the next blog button up top. If you hit it enough times, you will come across someone doing some amatuer porn. Its pretty easy to find sites too. Bookmark them. Write them down. Quit searching. Don't you people know anything?
• Granny Moses prophesy - I never knew Granny Moses from the Beverly Hillbillies told prophesies. Now I know. And knowing is half the battle. G.I. JOE!!!!!!
• Aysh Sex - Even better. Bad days of Napster style mispelled pornography. Just the thing to find something. Or, is this some sort of weird sex thing I'm not informed about, that involves something really kinky, like a picture of the Ayatolla and Shampoo?
• Side Effect of Finger Fuck - Hmmm... I think its pregnancy. Yes. Gotta be pregnancy. No finger fuck. You should have that aysh sex instead. Can't get pregnant from that.
• Bhuddism and Revenge - Yes, bhuddists are known for it. The people that the devout are known to carry brooms to sweep at their feet so they don't kill insects as they walk are very quick to run out and get revenge on others...
• Kiddy porn forced - uhhhhh........
• Fraggle Rock Theme - Dance your cares away. Worries for another day. Let the music play. Down at fraggle rock...
• Tekerson Tech - From the short lived cartoon TV show "Undergrads." Show was hilarious, ran one season on eMTyV. I thought the show was hilarious, although it would have been better if it didn't have the horrid Good Charlotte laden soundtrack. Thousands of Star Wars referances in it, which is perfect for a Geek like myself. I found out about it years after it was cancelled, from a freind. Just follows a bunch of College aged guys around who went to high school together around, who go to nearby schools. Two same university, one junior college, and one said Tekerson Tech.
• Fit Physique - Heh. I'm in shape. I'm round.
• Consequences of a Threesome with a Co-worker - Short term, my guess, would be a big grin. Long term....