Unreliable Quotes

I got this list of quotes as a forwarded e-mail. I trust forwarded e-mails about as much as I trust dubs. 10% of it is true. However, they were just way too funny to not share. So, I am writing a disclaimer that there is a chance that the people listed as saying them may or may not have said them. I'm not in the mood to try and search out if all these folks really did or didn't say it. It'd take me hours on end, and the disclaimer was just a hell of a lot easier. If any of these people happen to read it, and didn't say it, I'll change it to "not your name." That way there is no confusion. Of course many of the names listed have passed away.

• Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde
• Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. - Rodney Dangerfield
• There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL. - Lynn Lavner
• Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - Camille Paglia
• Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant. - George Burns
• My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. - Jack Nicholson
• Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. - Barbara Bush
• Ah, yes ... , di * vorce \ de-'vo(e)rs , from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams
• According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Robert De Niro
• There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked. - Jerry Seinfeld
• See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
• It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. - George Burns