Knew We Shouldn't Let Him Ride Without Training Wheels

Our pal dubs went off riding his bike really fast the other day, in rainy weather, on the grounds of a hotel in scotland. He ran over a cop, fell off his bike, and got a bunch of booboos. Luckily that nice doctor guy sprayed bactine on them, and gave him some bandaids. He wanted GI Joe bandaids, but the doctor didn't bring them, since the other world leaders at G8 wouldn't take him seriously.

Seems wittle dubs jr. has a history of doing such things. He fell off his bike before, he's even fallen off a seguay scooter, which should be pretty much impossible. He also, somehow managed to scrape his face after choking on a pretzel and fainting. Yeah, its even unsafe for the man to eat a pretzel.

I think, in the interest of the American People, we need his bike to have training wheels, limit him to a liquid diet, and have him ALWAYS wear a helmet.