What Independence Day Means
Many of you don't know exactly what the US's Independence day really means. So, I shall explain how mine usually works out. This year was a little different, as I had to work, so I'll instead use bits and pieces from other years to sub in for my working in the morning.
Get woken up at around 10AM by explosions, people congregating, and a really bad marching band. The corner my house sits on, literally marks the beginning of the parade route for my towns fourth of july parade. This is a joy because people block off our driveway, and leave empty beer bottles and cans at the edge of our yard, showing their independence from decency.
After the parade is over, I usually end up at a party at a friends house. Since it is summer, it is the BBQ season. Nothing better than meat cooked over an open fire. This ranges from your basic hot dogs and burgers, to various sausages (bratwurst, italian sausage), chicken, ribs, cabobs, vegetables... good food. It also involves drinking. What good is gathering with friends and cooking food over fire without putting away 2-30 beers?
While all this is going on, you slowly light off about half a gross of bottle rockets, 50 packs of firecrackers, some m-80's... just your basic stuff that explodes, and is relatively cheap. Its all slow and random. What makes it so much more fun is that technically lighting off fireworks is illegal. Even in my horrid backwords ass state of Indiana. Out here, its legal to buy the fireworks, but illegal to light them off. (make sense, right?) So, here we show our independence from logical thought.
Then, right after sundown, something magical happens. Every neighborhood across the US turns into... Iraq, Sarajevo, Vietnam... any infamous war zone as explosions are everywhere. Its literally non-stop. Machine gun fire (full packs of firecrackers), artillary (m-80's), to the occasional bomb (quarter sticks, half sticks...). You'll see stuff in the air, on the ground... everywhere. Nonstop explosions. I don't mean like every five minutes, or every minute, I mean you hear five things explode every second non stop for hours. After about 11 at night, things calm. Its like the amount of pops of popcorn in the microwave when it has 30 seconds to go. Things are still going, but there is a little space now between pops.
THAT is the biggest meaning behind independence day: blowing shit up. We American's declare our independence from everyone else, and show off our right to blow shit up.
The next day, the battlefield is mostly quiet. A few pops here and there, where someones stockpile of WMDs hasn't been all fired off yet. The streets, and peoples yards are all covered in paper from fireworks, and EVERYONES yard has a few hundred sticks from bottle rockets in them, since once that thing is fired in the air... can't control where it lands.
Everyone should have an independence day, simply because of one reason: as moronic as some of the activity is, it is a hell of a lot of fun. Food, alcohol, good friends, and explosives.
What more could a person ask for?
Get woken up at around 10AM by explosions, people congregating, and a really bad marching band. The corner my house sits on, literally marks the beginning of the parade route for my towns fourth of july parade. This is a joy because people block off our driveway, and leave empty beer bottles and cans at the edge of our yard, showing their independence from decency.
After the parade is over, I usually end up at a party at a friends house. Since it is summer, it is the BBQ season. Nothing better than meat cooked over an open fire. This ranges from your basic hot dogs and burgers, to various sausages (bratwurst, italian sausage), chicken, ribs, cabobs, vegetables... good food. It also involves drinking. What good is gathering with friends and cooking food over fire without putting away 2-30 beers?
While all this is going on, you slowly light off about half a gross of bottle rockets, 50 packs of firecrackers, some m-80's... just your basic stuff that explodes, and is relatively cheap. Its all slow and random. What makes it so much more fun is that technically lighting off fireworks is illegal. Even in my horrid backwords ass state of Indiana. Out here, its legal to buy the fireworks, but illegal to light them off. (make sense, right?) So, here we show our independence from logical thought.
Then, right after sundown, something magical happens. Every neighborhood across the US turns into... Iraq, Sarajevo, Vietnam... any infamous war zone as explosions are everywhere. Its literally non-stop. Machine gun fire (full packs of firecrackers), artillary (m-80's), to the occasional bomb (quarter sticks, half sticks...). You'll see stuff in the air, on the ground... everywhere. Nonstop explosions. I don't mean like every five minutes, or every minute, I mean you hear five things explode every second non stop for hours. After about 11 at night, things calm. Its like the amount of pops of popcorn in the microwave when it has 30 seconds to go. Things are still going, but there is a little space now between pops.
THAT is the biggest meaning behind independence day: blowing shit up. We American's declare our independence from everyone else, and show off our right to blow shit up.
The next day, the battlefield is mostly quiet. A few pops here and there, where someones stockpile of WMDs hasn't been all fired off yet. The streets, and peoples yards are all covered in paper from fireworks, and EVERYONES yard has a few hundred sticks from bottle rockets in them, since once that thing is fired in the air... can't control where it lands.
Everyone should have an independence day, simply because of one reason: as moronic as some of the activity is, it is a hell of a lot of fun. Food, alcohol, good friends, and explosives.
What more could a person ask for?
posted by Michael at 7/05/2006 07:08:00 PM
Times
1 Comments:
you crack me up!
Post a Comment
<< Home