I'm Taking Her Home With Me...

We now have the latest and greatest in sexual harassment claims: nurses complaining about the patients.

While this may be innappropriate, it's taking things just a bit too far. The naughty nurse is a classic sex symbol, that will go away just as quickly as the firefighter. (wonder how many guys at the firehouse are complaining about women asking them to slide down poles and save them?)

Then again, if you look even deeper into that, both of those statements are sexist and piggish because they assume that nurses are women and firefighters are men, when we all know that neither is a 100% stance.

Ut oh... more non PC bullshit.

How about if I clear it up with some fact from my experiances in hospitals with nurses (trust me, I've spent a good share of time in em): Most nurses are women, aged 40-60, who are built like linebackers, and do NOT fit that stereotype in the least. The guys hitting on them aren't doing so because of sanity, they are doing it because they are loaded on painkillers/drugs.

Next thing you know patients in hospitals will be getting charged with being under the influence.

Which goes back to my original case: hitting on the nurse, asking for a kiss, etc. may be innappropriate, but sexual harassment is too far. I'm sure some patients go too far, but I can guarantee if the nurse can't scare the guy (catheters come to mind), someone else can put the fear of God into them.

So... I leave with song lyrics...

The Nurse Who Loved Me by A Perfect Circle

Say hello to the rug's topography
It holds quite a lot of interest with your face down on it
Say hello to the shrinking in your head
You can't see it but you know its there so don't neglect it

I'm taking her home with me all dressed in white
She's got everything I need pharmacy keys
She's falling hard for me I can see it in her eyes
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Say hello to all the apples on the ground
They were once in your eyes but you sneezed them out while sleeping
Say hello to everything you've left behind
It's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it

I'm taking her home with me all dressed in white
She's got everything I need some pills in a little cup
She's falling hard for me I can see it in her eyes
She acts just like a nurse with all the other guys

Say hello to the rugs topography...

Friends: The Ultimate Source of Spam

This may become a regular post for me. The list of e-mails I've received from "friends" that really just constitutes being spam. All these people are individuals I have given my e-mail address to, and feel the need to include me on their mass forward lists.

1. 5 Megs of Video Porn - The good thing is I like porn. The bad thing is I don't like any of the porn they send me. Blonde waifish girls aren't my thing. Not to mention, I don't want to watch porn a few hours after I get up. I can find my own, easily, that better suits my tastes.
2. Nude Pics of Vida Guerra - While I do find this woman attractive, I've had this same group of pictures sent to me about 15 times already. I don't need them clogging my inbox again, especially considering the person who just sent them sent them to me at least half of those 15 times I've gotton them.
3. Joke E-mail - this one made me laugh, but I had seen the pic in the joke before, it just had a different story behind it. Hence the recycled nature of jokes on the net. Still, ceramic clowns with enormous cacti growing out their pants really don't get old.
   
4. Hillary Clinton Shaking Hands with Soldier - got this one from a die hard Republican friend of mine. Was the 1% of the stuff he forwards me that was actually true. I laughed, because if I was the soldier, even though I'm a Democrat, I would have done the same. Hillary = BAD. Still, keep the politics out of forwards. I know they don't want all my dubs jokes, so I keep them all here.
   
5. Bad Joke = Anyone get the one on all the reindeer being women? Ummm... Yeah, that one. Men jokes can be funny, this one was just too dumb to be funny. For a joke to be funny, it has to play the stereotype properly. That one just doesn't do it well. It just says "only women could do that, HA!" which isn't quite an effective use of language or a punch line, nor give any reasoning why, or play off a known stereotype.
   
6. Conservative Crap Racist Joke - the miss world joke. Bunch of pics of bikini models, first bad punchline is Miss Iraq, which is an attractive woman, but with a half assed photoshop job of putting 6 in long armpit and pubic hair growth on her. Next was france, which involved a bad photoshop pasting of Rowen Atkinson (Mr. Bean) over the face of a model. The last was Miss Palestine, which involved a nude plus sized woman, with Yassir Arafats face photoshopped on it.
7. About 8 Avon E-Mails. Hello?!?!?! You are literally sending, daily to people you consider your friends, pure, unadulterated, spam. If they were gonna order some shit from you, they would have done so already. A daily e-mail reminder isn't exactly what they need. Not to mention, do you think a 29 year old male, who lives in a t-shirt and jeans, sound like part of the target demographic for Avon?

And that concludes the Friday Friends Spam Update.

Damn.... I'm Gonna Have To Actually Go To the Theatres

Loved the first one...

Hopefully part II is half as good.

(trailer)

College University Toons

I wanted to do a full update.... but yet again I could only find one new cartoon worth being posted... so I posted one new one, and an old one that cracks me up every time I watch it.

College University Christmas Special - these guys know how to truly capture the spirit of the season.

College University Amazing Products - Posted before, but its just way too funny... so I'm linking it again.

GI Joe!!!!!

(explicit language)

The Onion

The Onion, Reporting on Iraq's recent elections.

Money Well Spent

Number of CIA operatives: 20

Length of stay: From 5 to 42 days

Total room charges: $158,096.56

Capturing and Torturing a Suspect Against Geneva Convention rules: Priceless

First to arrive in Milan was the surveillance team, and the hotels they chose were among the best Europe has to offer. Especially popular was the gilt-and-crystal Principe di Savoia, with acres of burnished wood paneling and plush carpets, where a single room costs $588 a night, a club sandwich goes for $28.75 and a Diet Coke adds another $9.35.

According to hotel records obtained by the Milan police investigating Abu Omar's disappearance, two CIA operatives managed to ring up more than $9,000 in room charges alone. The CIA's bill at the Principe for seven operatives came to $39,995, not counting meals, parking and other hotel services.

Another group of seven operatives spent $40,098 on room charges at the Westin Palace, a five-star hotel across the Piazza della Repubblica from the Principe, where a club sandwich is only $20.

In all, records show, the CIA paid 10 Milan hotels at least $158,000 in room charges.

Excerpts taken from the Chicago Tribune.

Tobacco: The Cure to all Disease

Wanna stop anthrax?
Bubonic plague?
Type 1 diabetes?
Hepatitus C?
Cholera?

Its simple really. All you have to do is genetically engineer tobacco plants to carry a vaccine. Once acre of that special wacky tobaccy would have enough anthrax vaccine to innoculate the entire US. Plus, its actually safer than the current method. Mice innoculated with the vaccine withstood an anthrax attack 15 times greater than what would be expected during a terrorist attack.

Other diseases could also benefit from extremely cheap preventions through the use of genetically engineered tobacco.

There is also no risk of the genetically engineered tobacco getting into the food supply, since no one eats tobacco... although I wonder what smoking a cholera vaccine would taste like...

The one fear I have, is that a bunch of genetically engineered tobacco seeds will get mixed with tomato seeds and produce the highly addictive tomacco. It would rival opium poppy for worldwide drug cartels.

Say no to tomacco kids. Its not the cool thing to do.

The Personal Journal

I've been going through my personal journal lately, switching entries from public to friends only, and I came across something old I posted, and it made me laugh. It was some quiz results, so I thought I'd share on the blog.

10 Best Songs I Heard First in 2005

Yes, that may be a bit of an odd title, but it really doesn't matter what year the song was recorded in, it matters what year you first heard that song. Most of the list is 2005 recording year stuff, but a few aren't. If the world bowed down to me, and did as I say, this would be what you had your ears force fed this year, instead of songs about Laffy Taffy.

10. Cold Day In The Sun by the Foo Fighters
One of the songs off the acoustic side of the double disc. Makes me think Beatles for some reason. Also shows that Dave Grohl truly is a musical genius. Not many can make a song this simple this good.

Powered by Castpost

9. Looking at the World From the Bottom of a Well by Mike Doughty
The former frontman of Soul Coughing hasn't lost it as a solo artist. Different than his work with them (far more pop, less experimental) but still good. Got this one as a free and legal download from amazon.com. I'll eventually pad the man's pockets by buying the disc.

Powered by Castpost

8. Perfect Woman by Lollipop Lust Kill
This song is disturbing, but that tends to just encourage me to listen. Goth/Metal band, which suits me well, with a nice combo of screams and almost lounge singer like vocals. So what if the CD came out three years ago and I didn't discover them till now.

Powered by Castpost

7. Cure For Pain by Morphine
Baritone sax slow rock... Yeah, not exactly a big genre. This disc is actually about ten years old, but I've been slowly picking up Morphine cd's for the past few years. They really were a good, groundbreaking band. Still many more discs and many more songs for me to become addicted to.

Powered by Castpost

6. The Hand That Feeds by Nine Inch Nails
For a while, I thought Trent had lost it. This CD brought me back to being a follower. By far my favorite NIN disc since the early nineties.

Powered by Castpost

5. Dare by the Gorillaz
Anyone who has listened to this disc has played this song nonstop. Its just way too catchy. Makes me almost dance. Note: almost. This disc overall suprised me with the amount of songs that seem to follow me around now. I'm not sure if its pure pop catchyness, or some kind of morbid musical genius.

Powered by Castpost

4. Fix You by Coldplay
Every top ten list needs a good, sit in the corner, slit your wrists, ball up in the fetal position song. This one is it.

Powered by Castpost

3. What Kind of Woman Is This by Buddy Guy
This song grabbed me ten seconds into it, and I was addicted ever since. Its bluesy. Its dirty. Buddy Guy, you are a legend. (He's in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame too I might add.)

Powered by Castpost

2. Violent Pornography by System of a Down
This song still amazes me. Its a combo of jibberish, bad lyrics, but an amazing catchy chorus. When they break off into "Its just violent, pornography, choking chicks and sodomy, the kinda shit ya get on your TV" I just want to hold a big stein of beer in the air, wave it back and forth, and sing along with 40 other people.

Powered by Castpost

1. Doesn't Remind Me by Audioslave
I have played this song nonstop for at least six months. Just amazes me. It pieces everything together: lyrics, vocals, music... even has one of Tom Morello's better guitar solos. It is easily, hands down, the best song of the year. At least in my little world of fluffy clouds and happy trees.

Powered by Castpost

An FYI

Yes, the hangover was bad.

Luckily drunken blogging isn't as bad on me as I've seen it on others. I just can't manage to get the same adjectives out of my head, and repeat them, over, and over, and over...

Christmas Eve: The Day of the Beverage

My Christmas Eve, which is when myself and my immediate family celebrate, was fantastic. The day could be summed up in food and drink, and I shall share the drinking list with one and all. It's a sick combination of yumminess.

1. Arabian Mocha Sunani - Bought some new coffee beans this week. Wonderful, strong, but smooth beans these are. I brewed them in the french press. Have this chocolatey smoothness to them. Highly recommended. I rate these up there with my usual guatamalan antigua beans.
2. Elijah Craig Bourbon - I was in the mood for bourbon this week, but the combo of Christmas, and me just being a broke college student* kept my fundage low. So, I picked up this one. Excellent whiskey for the price. $17 for 750ml bottle. That's Jim Beam prices, but ten times better flavor.
3. Midas Touch - this is an extremely unique brew from Dogfishhead brewary. The story behind the brew is when archaeolgists discovered King Midas's tomb, they found large earthen casks in the burial chamber. They examined the remains, and figured out the ingrediants to the beverage in it. Dogfishhead brewary makes it. Its made with barley, honey, white muscat grapes, and saffron. Kind of a combo of beer, wine, and mead. Excellent beverage, but small doses only. Its a bit too sweet for my pallette, but for half a 12 oz bottle is exceptionally good.
4. Rasteau Vin Doux Naturel Appellation Rasteau Controlee (vintage 1999) - Whole label on the bottle is in french. All I know, is it was a dessert wine we drank between the appetizers and dinner. Like all dessert wines, very sweet, highly alcoholic. Not exactly my thing, but I'm all about the sampling of tasty beverages. I didn't think I wanted a second serving at first... but I went back.
   
5. Estancia Monterey Pinot Noir (vintage 2003) - More wine. This one was really good, but it was a more typical wine, which suits my tastes better. Not dry enough for me, but it complimented the meal nicely. I'm not exactly the wine guy, I just know it was good.
   
6. Kalamazoo Stout from Bell's Brewary - This was just a nice, dark, after dinner, pre-present opening drink between me and my brother (we both wanted a beer, so we split one.) Very dark. Very creamy smooth beer.
   
7. Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout brewed by Three Floyd's Brewary - I had been aging this bottle for a while. Its a rare brew done by a local brewary out here. It's brewed with Starbucks coffee and molasses. WOW. You can taste hints of the coffee in the background, but it doesn't overpower the flavor of a beer that is so dark light doesn't stand a chance of passing through it.
   

Now, one may wonder, how the HELL do you end up with a combo of beverages like that? Simple, me and my brother's all end up contributing a drink here and there. We all have much different tastes in what we like too. My callings are coffee, whiskeys, and beer. My oldest brother is a wine lover. The brother in between, beer.

So, I provided the coffee that everyone drank. Oldest brother brought two bottles of wine. Middle brother brought a few bottles of beer. So, in the end, you end up pretty buzzed on a wide variety of ways to get there. Now, I must drink water and hope that a hangover doesn't happen from this sick little variety.

*got my grades yesterday from my classes, thought I'd share with the world. Economics - B, Systems Analysis and Design - B, C++ Programming and Logic - A, Computer System Architecture - A, my idiotic and pointless math class that to this day I don't know what to call other than idiotic and pointless - B. So 2 A's and 3 B's.

That Sexy Bin Laden

Osama's neice, Wafah Dufour, was recently interviewed by GQ magazine, and posed for a photoshoot. I just must say one thing...

DAYUM!!!

This goes to further prove a theory of mine: middle eastern women are hot.

I think I might have to convert to Islam so they would look in my direction.

Pastafarianism has been fun and all, but most pirate women have peg legs and eyepatches. Not exactly sexy... well, I do find the YARS sexy, and they do know how to tie knots with ropes pretty well...

Oh drats, yet more personal dilemmas on women, so many types, so much sexiness. *sighs*

Merry Christmas/Merry Krimmus

Since I have readers who read this from work (I'm guessing), and since many of us don't exactly pay attention to blogs the day of, I wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone.

Elitist: A Definition

If any of you get involved in political discussions, I'm sure you've had this special little word thrown out somewhere along the line: elitist.

Elitist: n : someone who believes in rule by an elite group.

Now, as a basis of political discussion, which group sounds as if it were elitist:

1. Lowered taxes for the wealthiest. Less spending on social programs and healthcare. Higher spending on national defense. Unlimited spying, without any reason, on individuals so the governernment can protect the whole. More powers to the president, less to congress and the courts. Pro-death penalty. Pro-life. Pro-torture on anyone suspected of being an enemy of the state. Ignoring the international communities opinion.
   
2. Higher taxation on the wealthiest. Increased spending on social programs and healthcare. Spying approved through courts. System of checks and balances through congress and courts. Against death penalty. Pro-choice. Against torture of any human. Trying to work with the international community.
   

I know I probably missed some talking points. That's just what I could come up with off the top of my head.

Holiday Musical Sidebar

I forgot one of the most awesomest Christmas songs ever. I'm ashamed I did too. Which one?

Christmas in Hollis by Run D.M.C. Its now in the sidebar. Speaking of which...

I have been getting about an additional 30-50 hits a day simply because of my boy Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey hanging out over there. All the paisans love Dominic. Hell, Dominic has been listened to 337 times since his posting. He'll be gone on the 26th, so get your listens in now.

Pennsylvania Judge Hates FSM, people, puppies, and America

In a stand by those damn moderates, who try to consume America with their logical belief system, has shot down intelligent design as being a re-packaged version of creationism.

How dare he step on the faith driven truths that are brought to us by the teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and his version of ID. HOW DARE HE!!!

How can we ever know anything that happened before we remember anything? Simple, ask someone who was: the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is Him who made the mountains, trees and midgets.

Darwin didn't make anything, except some damn tasty pan fried finch. He would use different types from different areas of the island, where throughout hundreds of thousands of years had likely become more specialized to surviving in their environment. Each one adding a slightly different flavor to the dish, due to the foods they ate.

He then lightly seasoned them, pan fried them, and deglazed the pan with some white wine, which made this absolutely amazing sauce... wait, where was I... Oh, yes, Intelligent Design.

That naughty, bad, bad man in Pennsylvania is persecuting me, because he doesn't think my beliefs should be forced on everyone else. Doesn't that judge know that only what I believe in, is right, and everyone elses beliefs are wrong. I have the majority at this computer. Therefore, since me and my 18 year old cat believe the FSM theory, it must be true.

WE WILL NOT BE VIOLATED!!!

My civil rights have been taken away, even though nothing has changed, and I have the same rights as everyone else. Spread the word of the FSM!!! Dress like a pirate and protest outside the courthouse in Pennsylvania!!!

Pastafarian Unity 4-EVA!!!

(wonders if he got this bump on his head from falling off the soapbox the other day)

Person Of The Year 2005: Kevin Federline

I know many of you are sitting there, wondering why I would pick the husband of Brittany Spears to be person of the year. It was an easy decision really.

Kevin Federline best exemplifies what every man wishes for, and envies.

He married a young millionaire woman, and has managed to take from her financial empire to create NOTHING.

He showed the world that Brittany "oh I'm virginal, teehee" Spears is really far from it. She used to try to portray this image of being a wholesome, southern belle. Now, she is the epitome of southern white trash. He made the pop princess into in the kitchen, barefoot, and pregnant.

Love him. Hate him. You still cannot deny what the man has accomplished. That is why I salute you, our 2005 Person of the Year, Kevin Federline.

(2004 Person of the Year)

Videos? Say Wha?

Believe it or not, I'm gonna do a video post. Scary huh?

For the past few months, my free time dropped to next to nothing, having returned to working, plus taking 15 credit hours in school. The blog was what had suffered a bit. It got more of my rants than my twisted humor. A few things, like polls and cartoons and video and not writing run on sentences disappeared. Well, they'll be back for a good month, maybe longer if next semester of school isn't as involving as this one was.

On the the videos.

Milkman Commercial - This is an amazing commercial, that would never make the airwaves in the US. It makes me wanna drop out of school, move to a foreign land, and become a milkman.

This Guy Spins Shit - Well, not actual fecal matter, but he does spin stuff. He has this look to him like he's rain man. IQ of 65, but can spin shit. Plus, the music choice is astounding.

You Like It Rough? - Its just about a little doggy.

Who Likes the Caulk? - SNL skit about Caulk.

XBox: Germany - For some reason, I don't know why everything in German just seems so much cooler.

Liberals Make dubs MAD!!!

Its been entertaining recently, to see the shift from ultra conservative to more moderate thinking the past few months. Its all snowballing nicely. By '06 mid-term elections the house and senate will balance out better, and we'll have a mighty lame duck president.

I find it fun to watch dubs get mad and huffy puffy, as more and more people get dissallusioned to his rhetoric and lies. The recent one with him authorizing spying without warrants because he's the all powerful king, er, President of the US, even though if the charges are true, it is overstepping the boundaries of Presidential power.

Eventually, he'll get caught in a real lie. Then he'll be in a similar boat with the Republican's favorite scapegoat, Bubba Clinton. Bubba lies about BJ's from employees. dubs lies about spying? Causes for international war? So many possibilities.

Just a matter of time.

Declarations of Krimmus through Decorations

Someone in New York has a rather interesting bit of decor outside their home. A bloody santa with a tree filled with decapitated dolls, with Santa holding the head of one of the dolls.

The owner claims it is part of their protest against the commercialized aspect of Christmas, and Santa not being in the bible, etc.

This entire "war on Christmas" fascinates me.

My stance? Well... isn't my stance on Krimmus and Christmas obvious?

I'm not one to tell someone that they are celebrating, disturbing, or destroying a religious holiday for me. My religion and another persons don't matter to me. I don't need anyone elses approval to justify my beliefs. To make things easy, I have mentally divided the holiday into two halves: Krimmus and Christmas.

Krimmus is the retail, mass marketed, consumer holiday. Christmas is the religious holiday. They just happen to fall on the same date.

Christmas is an extremely important holiday for Christians around the world. Krimmus is just pretty damn fun (except for the evil shoppers). I like and enjoy them both for their own merits. That's why I wage no wars. I merely justify and incorporate both aspects into one day as two seperate entities: Christmas and Krimmus.

Besides, Christmas isn't about wars. Neither is Krimmus. Just enjoy them, and stop taking things so seriously.

The US Constitution

Most American's are familiar with this document, known as the Constitution. Its a document, that provided the foundation of our country. It says how our government should be set up, and lists our basic rights as US citizens. It is the keystone our entire country was founded on. Simply the most important document for our country.

Of course dubs thinks its just "a Goddamned piece of paper."

In one phrase, the man not only defiles the Constitution, but uses the name of the lord in vain. Sure sounds like the moral majority, who swore on the Bible to "uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Would taking an oath, on the Bible, and not meaning it, be considered a sin?

This brings forth so many questions, and so many levels of being wrong, I can't even begin to list them out.

Conan, What is Best In Life?

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of the women."

Governor AH-Nold hasn't changed much from his old character.

Stanley "Tookie" Williams, a founder of the crips gang, was convicted of 4 counts of murder in 1979. The depictions of the murders were brutal, to say the least.

Since then, Williams has become a writer. He has written children's books about the evil's of gangs. He has been nominated several times for the Nobel Peace prize, from his work while in prison.

According to AH-Nold, and the court system in California, this isn't enough to stop him from being put to death at 12:01 A.M. Tuesday morning.

By living and remaining in prison, he can potentially turn thousands of children away from gangs. By turning children away from gangs, lives are saved. Crime goes down. The world is a better place in the long run.

By putting Williams to death... no one gains anything, except vengeance.

Does This Mean Sequel?

Thanks to a History Channel funded expedition, a new chunk of the Titanic was found, making the new theory that the ship busted into three sections, and sank even faster.

I hope this doesn't mean I'll have to go through a sequal to the film being plastered all over every media and retail outlet it can leech its lifesucking power onto. I can see it now... Titanic 2007, starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher...
(holds back bile from throat)

The response of Robert Ballard, who led the 1985 expedition that found the remains of the Titanic and found it in two pieces, leading to his theory summed it up best: "They found a fragment, big deal. Am I surprised? No. When you go down there, there's stuff all over the place. It hit an iceberg and it sank. Get over it."

Well said.

Now, if I were to do a remake, there would definately be an attack on the Titanic, by Pirates led by Christopher Walken, with an army of trained Polar Bears, that ride attack whales, and fling penguins at the ship. And the only hope to save all of humanity from the assault would be... Bruce Willis.

Ok, no one steal that idea. Its all mine. I'll make millions... millions...
(cackles evilly)

Nasty Food Anyone?

The saddest excuse for a cook on the food network, Rachel Ray, is expanding her horrid empire.

She will soon have a talk show, where she will probably say the same annoying things, like delish and yummo. I'm sure she'll also have some nasty food on the show too. It is what she's known for.

I'm still trying to figure out why she is so famous. Her food is nasty, she's annoying, and you couldn't possibly prepare any of her 30 minute meals in that amount of time (people have pre cut things, and made them before, and can barely get it under an hour.)

I'm not the only hater either.

The Gravy: Now Pop-up Free

I got mad today.

The pop-up on my blog, that I had been ignoring for a good year, hijacked the page. Yeah, it was no longer a case of click one x and I'm done. Oh no. It was hit the back button 5 times, till the page decided that it didn't want to throw out that one, and instead put out the one that changes pages.

On that note, I said fuck you Bravenet poll thingie, that I don't even use anymore, and deleted it from the sidebar. I then re-arranged everything.

So now, the blog should be free of the evilness of pop ups. If it isn't, I'll delete more things that could be the cause.

Pop-ups bad.

Friends Don't Spam Friends

I got yet another one. This one was one of those "christians are being persecuted" mass mailings, and how our troops are fighting for our religion. Ummm... I thought they were fighting for WMDs, Muslim freedom, and for all that is good and wholesome in the world?

I have yet to this day to feel persecuted as a Christian. As far as I can see, there is nothing that stops me as an individual from praying at home, at my church, or even at the stop sign while driving. You might even say that I had freedom of religion, thanks to that lovely piece of paper called the Bill of Rights.

I'm sick of the "oh your persecuting us" bullshit that so many people are falling for. Its all a gimmick. Its a ploy to brainwash you into thinking that someone is trying to steal your rights, and usually it will use a bullshit, not actually happening example. Of course this one guys blog tells you its right. Uh huh. I think I've claimed on this blog that a giant venezuelan baby is gonna grow up to be 1400 pounds, and eat trees and live cattle. Its true then, right?

Now where was I... Oh yes, E-mails. My responding to the annoying mass forwards isn't working. I still get them. Now, I am clicking the "spam" button whenever these psuedo friends send me bullshit. They and their junkmail can rest in peace in my bulk folder from now on. I'm sick and tired of getting 5 e-mails a day that are all a bunch of lying crap.

I think I figured out the difference between liberals and conservatives now. Conservatives love spamming their friends, and liberals don't like spam. We prefer to communicate with each other, maybe share a joke or two, but not send an encyclopedia of bullshit emails.

Both groups like blogging, but conservatives have to have some sort of keyword in it, like "pundit."

All We Are Saying, Is Give Peace a Chance

Masturbateforpeace.com

This has to be the greatest website ever.

Don't Hate Me Cuz I'm Beautiful

When I started this blog, I swore I'd never post an obvious picture of myself on it. One time I posted a puzzle, which if you put it together it was a pic of me, but that was it.

Recently, my hair has been getting really long. I've been growing it out since June 2004. Back then I shaved my head (gillette mach III razor). Right now, its long, but not long enough to ponytail well in the back of my head.

So, out of boredom, and getting annoyed with my hair in my face... I put it into ponytails. I then took pics. Being way too amused by this, I had to share. Only I couldn't break my rule of no blatent pics of myself. So... I censored it.

Hope you all laugh at this as much as I have.

iPod - Greatest Thing Since General Tso's Chicken

Ok, by my title, you can tell I'm both in love with my iPod, and hungry.

I recently got an iPod (its one of those partial Christmas presents. Partially funded by the Parental units, the rest out of my pocket, which is easy thanks to those few days of no interest financing from Best Buy till January 2008.) I also got an FM transmitter so I can listen to the thing in the car, and charge it in the car. (It started working great after I changed the FM frequency it broadcasted at).

At first I was just amazed by being able to listen to whatever I wanted to, at any time. Only thing is, I didn't want to have EVERY song on my computer on the iPod, as some songs I wasn't crazy about, but won't delete. I have slowly been rating all the songs on my computer (have about 5900 out of the 7300 rated).

To make my decision, I just dragged over all my 3-5 star rated songs, and all the unrated ones. Problem was, I would have to constantly remove from the iPod as I rated songs, and add songs that I newly rated, change ratings... (I'm a music geek, and anal about my music) so I decided to mess with the auto update feature.

This is when the true power of the iPod and iTunes amazed me.

I set up a few smart playlists, that my iPod uses to update from (it gives the option of manual updating, updating the entire library, or updating from specific playlists). It doesn't do all songs, just the ones in those playlists. I made a playlist that instantly updates with all my 3-5 star rated songs, one that does select 2 star songs, and one that does all my unrated songs.

If I change a rating on iTunes or the iPod, it changes it on the other when I update, and will add or remove it from the iPod. The times played, last played, any track info I changed, etc. gets changed too. If I put a new CD on the comp (such as the Korn CD that came out Tuesday, which so far is good) it automatically gets added to the iPod when I hook it up because I haven't rated the songs yet. If I listen, hear a song that's crap and give it a one star, it gets yanked from the pod the next time I synch the two.

I'm still amazed I could actually live without the damn thing.

Free Saddam!!!

The Mighty Froyd and I have determined that we like the new Saddam. Just look at him. Saddam is a handsome man. He looks very distinguished with the beard. He is also very charismatic from all the pictures we have seen of him.

In fact, we are such fans, we think he should be freed, and brought to the US. We want the Constitution to be ammended, so that Saddam Can run for President in '08. He's the perfect response to the Neo-Cons.

He approves of torture on any who are enemies of the state. He has deep religious ties. He believes in a strong military, and excess government spending.

Free Saddam, and vote for him in '08!!!



Condi and Hillary don't stand a chance.

BEHOLD!!! The Power of Cheese

An 18 year old girl (who happens to be a mental giant) saw 4 men bring a clear plastic bag filled with a white substance into their house. She just knew it was coke, or heroin, something white and powdery and oh so good for her. So, she hired a hitman to take em out, so she could get the drugs, and sell em.

Turned out the hitman was an undercover cop. And the drugs were a big ass block of queso fresco, the crumbly white cheese that tastes oh so yummy on your taco.

So, now she is on trial for 4 counts of attempted murder and 4 counts of soliciting a murder. (The cops got her a gat, and some fake ammo, and they actually raided the house.)

Life in prison for some cheese.

(would make a Green Bay Packer comment, but knows he would get his ass kicked.)

Car Color

According to Dupont, the car color of choice world wide and in the US is silver still, but its lead has given way a bit to grey, and other colors. (I myself have a gray car.)

Dupont has an interest in this, since many car manufacturers use their paint. (8 of the top 10 cars in the US to be exact.) They conduct the survey, and come up with new colors based off of trends. If that's the case...

If any automaker wants to corner a sizeable section of the market, try this color: Pink. (Take special note Mitsubishi for the Eclipse, Volkswagen for the Beetle and Jetta, Ford for the Mustang...)

You'd make some sales. Do a sizeable initial launch, then make the color RARE. Make people search that shit out, when it gets to the really low point, unleash the second round, and charge nothing less than over sticker for em. You'll make bank.

Future Posts

I plan on posting some fresh, original, material, but this week is the last week of classes (lots of projects and such due), plus its the holiday season (holidays + working retail = work too much), and next week is finals...

In other words I've been busy.

I do plan on writing on a new musical group, bad movies, iPods, horrid cooking, and maybe putting my hair in pigtails.

Until then...

Adventscribing: Elimadate

Adventscribing: Elimadate

Sometimes someone else writes something that sums up your thoughts so well, you just send people to them. This is hilarious, although offensive to anyone who won on elimidate.

Songs of the (Mad) Season

Two songs added to the sidebar.

One appears at the top, while the second edition I slipped into the middle, since it is not a seasonal song.

The song that is seasonal is "12 Days of Christmas" as performed (and written) by the two coolest Canadians ever, Bob and Doug McKenzie of "Strange Brew" fame.

The non-seasonal song is "The River of Deceit" by Mad Season. Anyone here who also reads SwissToni's Place was aware of the game going on. For those who weren't, readers e-mailed a picture (or scan) of a handwritten lyric, and people could guess as to who the writer was. I sent in a line from this song. So, I felt the need to share its beautiful depressingness with the group.

Also, if I hear anyone make a comment about Matchbox 20 and the band Mad Season, the band had the name in 1994. It was a supergroup formed out of the depths of Seattle by Layne Staley (vocalist, Alice in Chains), Mike McCready (guitarist, Pearl Jam), Barret Martin (Drums/Percussion, Screaming Trees) and John Baker Saunders (bass player from unknown parts.)


Powered by Castpost

River of Deceit by Mad Season
lyrics by L. Staley, Music by McCready, Saunders, Martin, Staley

My pain is self-chosen
At least, so The Prophet says
I could either burn
Or cut off my pride and buy some time
A head full of lies is the weight, tied to my waist

The River of Deceit pulls down, oh oh
The only direction we flow is down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down

My pain is self-chosen
At least I believe it to be
I could either drown
Or pull off my skin and swim to shore
Now I can grow a beautiful shell for all to see

The River of Deceit pulls down, yeah
The only direction we flow is down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down
Down, oh down

The pain is self-chosen, yeah
Our pain is self-chosen

The Issues that REALLY Hit Home

We as a society face many problems: a failing (and lack of) a healthcare system, social security not being fiscally sound in the not to distant future, a $200 billion dollar war, a bumpy economy, religious rights and freedoms...

Luckily, our wisely elected congress knows what is tops on that list: the college bowl system. Yes, a Texas Republican, Joe Barton, has called for a hearing to examine the method that the bowls and the national champion are determined. He is the same congressman who set his sights on Major League Baseball.

Without him fixing baseball, what would have happened? The terrorists would have won. Hopefully they can fix college football, or else Osama will be having a party after he wins his bet on the national champions.

Don't let bin Laden win. Support a playoff system that takes the college football season into mid-march.

Deion, You're an Asshat

Deion Sanders, proving once again he has no clue, has some enlightenment to add the situations of a former NFL player, and a current one.

First of them being, convicted drug boy Michael Irvin, who had yet another brush with the law. Seems he got pulled over for speeding, and the police found some drug paraphernalia in his car. Irwin claims it isn't his, he took it from a friend and put it in his car, till he could dispose of it. Deion defended him, saying he knows Michael, and your innocent until proven guilty, and all that mess.

Now, we all know that he is legally innocent of crime right now, but face it. Michael Irwin is a crack baby. We all know if you take the pipe from the user, they'll use aluminum foil, an aluminum can, some rolling papers, or whatever else they can to do the shit. Also, why the hell would you take it away, and conveniantly put it in your car, when according to his story, he took it from him at his house? Didn't have a spot in the house to hide it? Couldn't just, oh, throw it away? He got busted for shit Deion. Just shut your mouth. Innocent until proven guilty doesn't mean ignore the fact he's been busted several times before, so its a bit more likely he is repeating past behavior. If you catch your gf/wife sleeping with another man, she's guilty. If a week later your buddy says dude's car was at your house again after you left, do you think she's guilty of doing it again, or are you going to hold a trial?

Next up on the list, everyone's favorite wide receiving asshole, Terrell Owens gets defended by Mr. Fancypants Deion. Seems Deion can't see why the Eagles suspended T.O., and told him to stay away from the team for the rest of the season.

There is a thing you never had in your career, that T.O. doesn't have either - professionalism. You don't go around talking shit about your teamates. A team gives warnings first. All that happens behind closed doors. Eventually, it passes that. Sooner or later, they get tired of smelling your shit and get rid of you. You, the player, is not worth the aggravation and trouble you bring to the team. Just because you are a talented player, doesn't mean you have the right to play. If you bring more baggage than you're worth, you're gone. It's that simple. NFL teams look at the whole team as what matters, not just what is best for your ass. The owners pay YOU by choice, not because they have to. If you do what they want, you are employed. You don't perform the way they want, you're fired. I don't care how good you are at washing the lettuce at McDonalds, if you take a dump on the counter, odds are you'll be fired.

In other words: Deion shut up. I'd say you took too many hits to the head, but anyone who's seen you try to tackle someone knows you don't know the meaning of "hitting."

Face Off, Face On?

The worlds very first (partial) face transplant was done at a hospital in France. The woman who received it was disfigured by a dog attack. Her nose and part of her mouth were torn off in the attack.

The doctor who did the transplant, was also the french doctor who did the first hand transplant.

Now if he could only transplant the movies involving face and arm transplants from my memory, then I'll be impressed.