Other Bloggings

I had an idea for a post on Terry Schiavo last night, and I didn't post it. Then today, I read a post on "Hey Jenny Slater" that covered many things I was thinking. Read it.

I also lucked into a response to a post I made this evening. Thank you Froyd. One and all can read it too, if you wish. All hail the mighty Froyd.

The Word of the Lord

(I found this online, and was quite amused. Had to share.)

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Mass Forwards and the Lies They Speak

Yet again, I get rampaged by the mass forwards. It amazes me how gullable the world is, that they think because someone took the time to write an email, and forward it, the information is true. I could easily write an e-mail claiming dubs has an affinity for molesting sheep, goats, and collies, and forward it on. Although I may have my suspicians about that, its probably false.

Today I got the "boycott gasoline from these stations" mass e-mail again. As my resolution on mass forwards states, I have to reply to ALL of them. The first thing I point out is that they list BP as a non importer, and Amoco as an importer. BP/Amoco is the exact SAME company.

All the companies listed as being non-importers are the little dink stations, that don't need to import from the middle east since they don't sell enough. Put all your money into buying gas, they'll need to get a bigger supply, which they would turn to... the middle east. If they didn't do that, they would have to just raise their prices. That whole basic economics thing, law of supply and demand. So, you would have Conoco gas at $3.49 a gallon, while the BP/Amoco across the street was $2.19 a gallon.

We use so much gasoline we have to import 31% of our gas from the middle east. The only way to stop importing from there, is to cut gasoline usage so we no longer need to import that 31%. How do you do that? Drive less, drive a more fuel efficient car.

I know that few are willing to give up that SUV, or take mass transit. So go ahead, add to our dependance on middle eastern oil, buy an H2 or that Durango with the hemi.

(source)

All That Fresh Air

A new study shows that breathing in traffic fumes will damage your DNA. The study was done with toll booth attendents and trainees who never stepped foot in the booths in Taiwan. Due to the changes in their DNA, I predict that soon the toll booth attendants will become mutants. They will all take on different traits. Some will shoot lasers out of their single eye, some will control magnetism with their bodies, some will grow telpathic powers, and be able to manipulate others thoughts.

To combat this we need to build giant robots, which will be called sentinals, to crush the mutants. Since they are different, they will hate us, so that is reason enough to crush them. After they are crushed, we will achieve world peace, and be able to go back to our safe existance, without the threat of these evil mutants.

Who's Number One?

Found this article on a friends site. Had to share.

(Magical link to scary stuff)

I've Miscatagorized Myself!!!!!

Very Goth You scored 63!

You're a Goth. Whether you admit it freely or not there is no denying it. You love the stuff and can't get enough. You decorate your living space in a way that is part morbid part chaotic.I'm sure your music is mostly Goth/Industrial/Darkwave. Wherever you go you're probably dressed mostly in black.Not only do you know who Switchblade Symphony is, you own every CD and EP they ever put out. Your dream profession is definatly something that benifits goths-Tattoo artist, goth DJ, freelance Gothic artist, Gothy comic creator ect.ect.ect...

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on gothies

Link: The GOTH Test written by myriad_entity on Ok Cupid

Taxation With Too Much Representation

Florida lawmakers have proposed a new tax. It is for the low, low price of just 2 cents per item. What is the item you ask? Toilet paper.

The dim-witted Democrat who is sponsoring the bill knows how to completely cripple party image. The guy is probably jumping ship, and is doing an undercover smear job. I can see Republican's pointing and laughing at this guy, and making referances for years to come that "those darn liberals will tax everything, including toilet paper!!!" I wouldn't blame em either. This guy is really an idiot to come up with an idea like that.

The tax rate is 2 cents per roll. I am a bit confused at how they will handle double rolls. Its one roll, but its two. If the manufacturers change the name to something like "big roll" would that lower the tax, since it isn't a "double roll" anymore. If a double rolls is taxed the same as a single roll, will more people buy double rolls to save the money?

It doesn't totally surprise me though. There are a lot of asses in politics, so it is just a bit of over-representation. Lets just hope, for Florida's sake, no one boycotts toilet paper if the tax goes through.

#1 Stalker

Thought I'd share a picture of my main stalker. She's senile. She's dusty. She yells at me all the time. Taps my arm constantly when I am at the comp. She'll be 18 in June.

Happy Easter

The subject says it all.

Big, Mighty, Powerful... Dick Cheney

I must thank Wonkette for this. My twisted idolization of Dick Cheney has found even more meaning.

The Big Dick Cheney

Speechless

While I was browsing my cartoon sites today, for the weekly update, I came across something that just sickened me. I hadn't mentioned anything on it in this blog, since I tend to stay away from tragic situations.

I'm sure that everyone is aware of the tragedy that happened in Red Lake, Minnesota. I can't even begin to discribe my feelings about it. The child that did the slayings was very emotionally disturbed. From what I've read, he was a neo-nazi, his father committed suicide, and his mother is in a nursing home after getting severe brain damage from an automobile accident. It was the makings of a very disturbed person.

One of the sites I visit, had a cartoon sent in by him last October. It shows how disturbed he was. They are keeping it online as part of the "public record." Here is the animation.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Red Lake who lost family and friends in the tragedy.

Cartoons and Video

Big Bunny 7 - The last Big Bunny episode.

Bunny Rap - This thing is... well... I need to listen to some Sugarhill Gang right now.

Monkey Porn - 2 monkeys. One car. Sweet love.

Random 10

Since not just one, but two blogs I read on a daily (SwissToni's Place, Hey Jenny Slater) both had a listing of 10 songs, I feel the need to be cool too, and list 10 songs. I'm not as cool as everyone else though, since I don't have an iPod. Instead, I am just going to list 10 of the songs showing up on iTunes, in the "Party Shuffle" on my comp. (If anyone hasn't checked out iTunes the music listening/burning/management program, do so. Its by far the best program I've come across to listen to music randomly with. The party shuffle is great. Plus, its free)

1. Come Together covered by Soundgarden
2. Scarlet Begonias by The Grateful Dead
3. All I Want Is You by U2
4. L.A. Woman by The Doors
5. Night Life by B.B. King and Willie Nelson
6. Second Walk by John Frusciante
   
7. Humming by Portishead
8. Louisiana Saturday Night by Alabama
   
9. Goodbye Windows by Corrosion of Conformity
10. Bring the Pain covered by Mindless Self Indulgence
    

Sharing is Caring

Oh, yeah, forgot to add this one a few days ago. I'm giving up on doing the massive news post on Saturdays. I look at my list of bookmarked links, and either forget what sick twisted interpretation I'm going to put with it or feel overwealmed. So now, I post em as I find em. The link to the article is in the titles.

So, now ya know, and knowing is half the battle...

Barney Loves You

It's finally happened. Someone cracked open a dinosaur leg fossil, and got at the marrow in the bone. They then soaked it in something, and got the hardened fossil to become soft and fleshy. Got marrow and blood vessells, soft and pliable, from a 70 million year old T-Rex.

Now, all we have to do, is luck into a little DNA, and we can clone the critter, and everyone can have their very own Dino or Barney. We all know dinosaurs are purple, which would work well for me. Who wouldn't want a pet Dinosaurus Tex?

We can clone thousands of them, and drop them off in North Korea and Iran. They'll eat the cities, and if they get radioactive they'll get really big, like Hogzilla, and eat bigger stuff. They'll be even more powerful than the clone army of Yao Mings from China, or our current clone army of Shaq Attacks.

AMERICA WILL BE STRONG AND CONQUOR ALL WHO DO NOT AGREE WITH US 100% OF THE TIME, AND DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE OUR PERFECTION!!!!!

*runs away giggling like a schoolgirl*

Finger Licken Good!!!

So, your sitting at Wendy's, eating a big phat bowl of chili. You take a bite, and find something. You take it out of your mouth. Look at it... Its a finger, with a long, well manicured nail. Don't worry about disease though, the finger was cooked well enough to kill any bacteria.

What do you do... a) Keep eating, you've always been curious about the taste of human flesh b) scream and begin to lose the chili you already ate c) look for the hidden camera, because you think you are on some new reality show d) ask someone at the counter where the 9 fingered woman get's her nails done... (You know what, this is too good. I have to run this as a poll. I'll add it on after I post this, and run it for a week and a half.)

The woman who found the lovely finger's choice was b. She'll have the first vote in the poll.

The Boondocks

I was thinking the same thing, but they beat me to it, and better than me.

Poor Hootie.

Thats Some Tasty Gum

Forget Doublemint, Bubbleyum, Icebreakers, Trident, EVEN Juicyfruit. None of them stack up to the new gum hitting the market. This gum has phytoestrogens, which are good at impersonating estrogen. Chew this gum, and your boobs can grow BIGGER!!! It can also improve circulation, reduce stress, and fight ageing. All you have to do is chew it three times daily. I'm wondering what it would do to me, if I chewed a pack a day. I bet I could grow a nice, manly set of jugs. I'd be purty. Just gotta fly to Japan and pick up a few cases of B2Up's Bust-Up gum.

Wonder if they would let me be their spokesman?

Oh Yeah, the New Poll

Last weeks poll on the worst fashion/fad ever's results.

1. 50% spikey hair with lines on the side
2. 33% mullets
3. 17% parachute pants
4. 0% leisure suits

This weeks poll, worst song of all time. Choices are "the electric slide," "Shiny Happy People," or "who let the dogs out."

I realize that there are ten billion other songs that could be on that list, such as anything from the Grease soundtrack, oh bla di (life goes on), Whoomp there it is, anything Suzanne Vega sang, I'm too sexy... I had to keep it down to a few, and only songs that I hate. I know REM sang Shiny Happy People, but the other two I'm not sure on, and am too lazy to look up.

Texas and the Critically Ill

We all know of the case of Terry Schiavo, who dubs flew cross country to try to reverse the decision of many judges in her life or death case.

The sad irony is, that Texas has a law that will pull the plug on anyone who is terminally ill, and can't afford to pay the bill, even if the family/guardian is against it. It just happened this week, to an infant that was born with a fatal form of dwarfism. After 6 months on a respirator, the baby was removed from it, and died against the infants mother's wishes.

Republican compassion: fly across country in a controvercial case, and be against abortion. In the case of a mother and her child, leave the law in place that kills the 6 month old. Let the mother watch her child die in her arms, against her wishes.

Can't kill em in the womb, but if they can't flip the bill, kill them at 6 months of age. Where's that moral high ground at now?

Hogzilla Is Real

A while back, in the news, I brought you all the tale of Hogzilla. Hogzilla was a wild pig that weighed in at 1000 pounds, and was 12 feet long. National geographic did some investigating on the corpse, and say that it really was a giant hog of enormous proportions.

It's a good thing hogzilla was killed a long time ago. Once hogzilla was a peaceful creature, frolicking amongst the woods. Then, the big bad wolf came. The wolf murdered and killed Hogzillas true love. Hogzilla sought revenge, and ate the wolf.

After that incident, Hogzilla ran wild. The taste of blood consumed his needs. Hogzilla plundered the land, eating livestock, native game animals, and began to feast upon human flesh. Hogzilla began to recruit followers, but unbeknownst to him, one was the mighty Dick Cheney.

Dick originally was trying to catch Hogzilla in the act, but after watching him in action, knew he could not wait on the beurocracy to end Hogzillas mad carnivorous rampage. Dick jumped him, and killed Hogzilla with his bare hands, to save the US. His heroic deed was against the law, but it truly did save us from the threat of Hogzilla.

All should honor and hail the mighty Dick Cheney.

Abstinance

We all know dubs preaches the abstinance only programs in school, and this study show's how beneficial it is. Teens who say no sex before marriage are more likely to engage in anal or oral sex, and are less likely to ever use a condom, putting them at a much higher risk for STDs. Great idea dubs, kids can't get pregnant from anal sex, although they are more likely to die. BUT, if they die, they won't have an abortion. GREAT JOB dubs!!!

My Home Town

On occasion, the city you grow up in, makes the news. Mine just did, and I thought I would share the newsworthy link with all of you, and tell the story.

A first grader found a bunch of baggies of Crack in their backpack, and handed them out to classmates at school. Their parent/guardian told them it was "candy" when they saw it around the house. So, they were handing out candy to all their little classmates. Ain't that sweet?

(link)

Gas Prices

US gasoline prices have hit an all time record high this week. Ave of $2.13 a gallon, and expected to rise higher. Luckily we have Republicans who think a hundred thousand lives is worth saving a few pennies at the pump (the true reason behind the conquoring of Iraq.)

The part of the entire situation, that gets me, is some peoples mentality. I can guarentee that many people, will go out and buy an SUV this summer. This SUV will have a 6 or 8 cylander engine, and get between 11 and 17 miles per gallon. They don't drive offroad. They don't haul anything. They need a vehicle to get from point A to point B.

These same people, will complain about gas prices being high, and it costs them $50 to fill up their tank. It wasn't anyones decision but your own to buy a gas guzzler. That is when they tell you a long list of reasons why they needed it.

• "I need the space for my family" - most SUVs are less comfortable to sit in, and have less space for people than Sedans and minivans. Bad reason, you have less room in the SUV than in a better gas mileage vehicle.
• "It can go offroad" - when are you planning on taking on the rubicon trail? If you just need something for wet surfaces or snow, check out a passanger car or wagon with all wheel drive. Its actually better for the conditions that you will probably drive in.
• "I need the cargo space." - Minivans have as much, if not more space for things in back. Wagon's aren't as spacious, but have a lot of cargo room too.
• "I feel safer in one." - You also stop slower, and are more likely to roll over than a passanger car, wagon, or minivan. So, you have a greater chance of hitting someone. Its a trade off-avoid accident or crush other car.
  
• "They look cool." - If you say so. Tastes are individual, so I won't argue that. Although I think you have bad taste.

So, that is my attack on the SUV craze. Hopefully gas prices cause more people to buy normal cars, to reduce our dependance on foreign oil, save the environment, and save themselves some money. I doubt it will happen, and soon the Canyonero will dominate us all, complete with a tax break from Uncle Sam.

Vivid IPO

Vivid entertainment (the porn company) may be going public. Yes, the multi-million dollar a year porn giant is thinking about going public in a few months by going on the stock market.

I love this, and if I had the money I would try to invest. I could then claim I own a piece of Jenna Jameson.

All this has me wondering, are conservatives who are bigger on stock market doings than liberals going to snatch (heehee) up stock? What is more important to them, their investments or their self-proclaimed "higher moral status"?

I really wish I could know who invests in this wonderful stock.

Pardon My Inactivity

Sorry to all for my lack of posting. Have had a bit of a mental block on writing. I think I got it figured out now, so hopefully my posting will resume its more frequent pace. Never know. I did just find something inspiring to write about.

Friday Cartoons

Big Bunny 6 - Big Bunny tells the children about illicit affairs.

David's Sister - I found this one oddly funny. Not sure why.

Story of a Bear - I posted this one a while back. It's now been posted on albinoblacksheep, so I felt the need to post it again. Its twisted. Its hilarious.

Retarded Animal Babies - This one, is just wrong. In a good way.

Boomerang Pimp - This guy has all the skills to pick up the ladies. He doesn't even need to chant to regain his mana.

Saint Patrick

It's only been a month, and yet we have another holiday named after a Saint. As I explained in the past, Saints are Roman Catholic. Saints are deemed saints by none other than the Pope. If you are not Catholic and celebrate anything to do with a Saint, you are a heretic.

Saint Patrick was not irish. He was born in England in the year 387 A.D. His parents were Roman. So, he was Italian. He was captured during a raid by and forced into slavery during his youth in Ireland, and escaped back to England. He later became a priest, and then a Cardinal. Upon having a vision from God, he went back to Ireland and spent 40 years converting the druids and pagans to catholicism. The reason why the shamrock is a symbol for St. Patrick is that he used it to explain the Trinity (the father, the son, and the holy ghost) to the people he converted.

So, on the anniversary of his death, March 17, many people acknowledge this man's religious quest. They do this by dying beer green, and getting drunk. What a way to recognize a holy man.

Recording Industry Rant and Ramble

Why does the music industry have to force feed me bad music? The quality of what is on the radio, eMpTy V, and most mainstream sources if aweful. The recording industry forces everyone to listen to the same thing.

Everywhere you turn, its all the same recycled bullshit. Corporate pop took over the late part of the nineties. The formula was simple: a bunch of teenage boys or a teenage blonde girl. Then there were the instances of the sound alike band. Pearl Jam brought us Creed. Incubus brought Hoobastank. As soon as one experiment works, every record company digs up 8 versions of that success. Its made music turn flavorless.

Then, these record companies don't know why their sales are slumping? They blame it on the internet, not the half assed, shoddy product they put out. Instead of fighting computers and the internet, they need to utilize them.

The second a block is put up, a way around it is found. The copy protected CDs don't work. Hold down shift on the keyboard when you insert the CD, and you can copy it. That was millions well spent RCA/BMG. Defeated with the shift key. (Holding down shift disables autoplay, so the blocking program never runs.)

Since the radio stations have turned corporate, I quit listening. I find music by word of mouth, or my own knowledge. This is where we need more independant radio. These big recording companies need to set up their own internet radio stations. They could learn a lot about who listens to what, what people like, and what people would buy.

Apply a ratings system and analyze the results. Keep a demographic on an individuals tastes, so that someone who is only out looking for the next Avril Lavigne doesn't hurt the next Korn's chances, and vice versa. Have your artists catalogue of music available for listening. A couple whole songs, and 1 minute clips. The thirty second ones don't paint a good picture.

Allow one of the songs off the album as a free download, that can be burned and shared. Pick a good song too. I've bought many cd's because of a good song, and a brief sampling. Examples of this (for me) are Mushroomhead, Ben Harper, John Frusciante, Sevendust, and Todd Snider to name a few.

Instead of listener friendly, seeking new music web pages, most artists provide information that only a current fan would be interested in. Disturbed's page is an example of this. I have trouble figuring out when their next CD is coming out from their page. All they show is the band's views on the recording process. I don't care how the recording went, I wanna know when its going to be in stores, and what it sounds like.

An example of a good website would be A Perfect Circles. The navigation is a bit odd at first, but the site provides real info. I could easily find the next release date of CDs. The writing is concise and to the point. They have links to hear new songs, and watch videos. The week before the eMotive cd came out, they had a different song available off the new disc to listen to every day. Its a site designed for the fans, not just for the band to talk nonstop on.

Use the medium of the internet, and all it can offer music listeners. Music fans everywhere turn to the internet to find new music. Make it your best marketing tool. Make it an ally. Don't fight the digital revolution, you'll lose.

Hi, My Name Is...

And the vote is done. Low voter turnout for this one, as all major elections should have. It has been settled. By a 60% to 40% voting, the name "Mr. Toolbox" shall be laid to rest. Now, I must go by my given name. It's as common as they could ever possibly come.

This weeks new poll is "what is the worst fad/fashion that could come back?" The choices are mullets, leisure suits, spikey hair with lines in the side, or parachute pants.

I've already had to see the horrors of bell bottoms, trucker hats, those damn top gun glasses... and I think everything on that list is either on its way back, or will be soon.

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Trailer

Click here to watch...

Things Republicans Believe

(I borrowed this from Craigslist)

1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy

2. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

3. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

4. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s and John Kerry did in the 1970s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

5. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

6. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

9. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

10. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

11. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

12. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

News for the Criminally Insane

Two-faced Cat - (the link is a video of the kitty, very graphic) A cat was born with two faces. Two mouths, two noses, four eyes... This is creepy. Its alive, it suckles from its momma, only one mouth works. Just... EEEK!!!

Gangsta Kitty - So, some idiot leaves his loaded gun on the kitchen counter. Then said idiots cat jumps on the counter, and knocks the gun on the ground. Said idiot gets shot. Kitty tried to put that MF down for not scooping the litter box, or feeding em stale cat food. The moral of the story? Treat your pets right, or they'll bust a cap in your ass!!!

Can I Get a Witness? - A man writes a letter to someone before he is murdered. That individual gets subpoena'd. That indivdual isn't allowed to testify, and gets sent home. Why? Because, that individual is his dog. What kinda weirdo writes letters to their pets? Last time I checked, pets don't read. They don't understand every word you say either. They will respond to voices, so if it was a tape... ok. But a fucking letter? I'm gonna set up an e-mail account for my cat...

Huntin' Season - Some criminal mastermind in Wisconscin wants a new animal placed on a hunting list. The domestic cat. They kill wild birds, and he loves birds so much he probably has sex with pidgeons. So, if fluffy sneaks out of the house, this yahoo is gonna bust a cap in fluffy's ass. At least that is what he wants. Fucking sick asshole. I hope birds shit on him daily for the rest of his life.

Can You Order This From a Canadian Pharmacy? - 37 people in Oregon committed suicide in 2004 by their Dr. Assisted suicide law. Only state to have one, since the US Supreme court deemed that would be an issue to be decided by each individual state. Of course the dubs administration wants to convict the doctors who prescribed the drugs of murder. If I sell someone a bottle of drano, which could be used to commit suicide, or a steak knife, am I liable? I worked in retail for over 7 years, I'm sure something I was involved with, either stocking, ordering, etc. was involved in a suicide or murder. Might have been 6 years since I sold it, but it eventually found its mark. Should I get locked up? I was doing what the law said I could do.

Republican Press - A trusted, and highly conservative member of the press, that covered the white house, was brought down and resigned because of liberal bloggers. Conservative sites want him to be left alone. What did this member of the press do? Oh, just possibly some gay prostitution. I see it now... In the minds of conservatives, its ok to be gay as long as you sleep around and get paid for it. If you have a stable relationship, and are monogomous, you are the work of the devil and have no rights.

Abu Gharib Kiddy Porn - Part of the systematic torture at Abu Gharib was done on those under the age of 18. Some were tortured to get to their parents who were being held, some were tortured for info they might have, like 17 year old girls forced to flash male soldiers. We had quite the gang bang going on over there. Male naked piles, statutory rape... Is this our idea of spreading liberty to other lands? War may be ugly, people get hurt and killed. That doesn't justify actions like that.

Hussein Capture Fake? - A new conspiracy theory on the capture of Saddam. He may have actually lived up to his words, and fought, getting in a gunfight with US forces. He did give in, since there was no way out, but of course the military propoganda machine that brings daring rescues of women from hospitals brought another compelling storyline of a beaten Saddam hiding in a well. The military needs better story writers. We need more aliens in the story, maybe some mind control of Saddam by the spirit of Mahatma Ghandi... THAT would sell.

Good Use of Congress - Since we have a huge budget deficit, are at war, and many internal problems, our legislative branch is focusing on a very important issue: MLB and steroid use. Listen, I don't care if baseball players are roiding. They want their balls to shrink and to die at a young age, fine. I'm more worried about other issues. Baseball is taking care of the shit. Let them do it. You take care of things that ACTUALLY EFFECT ME!!!!! Barry Bonds and his horse hormones don't matter, it has nothing to do with my well being.

Arrest That Kid - A child's father was taken down and arrested for a heinous crime in front of her. He was helping her sell girl scout cookies without a permit. Heaven forbid a father get involved in their daughter's life, and assist them in something that is very important to them. Can't have that kind of family involvement. She might grow up to be a strong, independent woman with upbringing like that.

Sex Ed - The thought is, should sex ed in schools only teach abstinance? Don't do it won't work. If two kids wanna get freaky, they will. Saying no just reinforces the rebellious nature of most teens. So, teaching them what condoms are, and their usage, might be "sinful" to some. What's the greater sin, a girl having protected sex at 15, or a girl having a bastard child at 15? Protected sex at 15, or getting a VD at 15? Teenagers have sex. Turn on your TV, watch some movies, pay attention to the statistics. The DARE program said say no. Still have drug users...

King Tut Not Murdered - After a CT scan, scientists believe King Tutankhamen was not murdered. In reading the article, I did figure out the curse of the mummy. While moving him, they found the kings lost penis!!! If my resting place were disturbed, and a bunch of bastards lost my happy part, I'd be really fucking pissed. I'd haunt, and curse, and kill every single one of them. Gotta respect the dead man's manhood. I'm sure it was kinda dried up and stuff, but its still his wang. Treat it with respect.

The Bizkit Wasn't Limp - Fred Durst is the most recent celebrity victim of a stolen sex tape. A video of him having sex with some girl was stolen, and is online. Of course I had to watch it, and it rates even lower than the Paris Hilton video. Fred, you are NO Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee was packing. Him and Pam showed some talent. You and your little friend showed none. Two eighty year old people fuck with more talent and energy than you.

Ring Tones - A company has now made ring tones for phones that are Porn stars moaning. Just what you want on your phone when in church, at work, talking to Mom or the kids... Nothing better than hearing John Dough groan to tell you your sister is calling.

Part of Old Testament Proven True - In one of the rare indications of science meeting religion, a test was done. A tunnel built in 700 B.C. according to the Bible, had the morter carbon dated and showed that it was built during that time. I love this. Science and religion meeting to prove they are both in synch. Most religious items don't get tested due to fears that science might prove an article false. That shows a huge lack of faith by those who fight it. If your faith is strong, let it be tested... or do those who hold these items question their faith?

Next Gov. of Louisiana? - Carl Weathers, best known for playing Apollo Creed in the Rocky movies, is running for Governor. If he were to win, that would mean that three people who starred in the movie Preditor would have been governors. Arnold "If it bleeds, we can kill it" Schwartzenegger, Jesse "I ain't got time to bleed" Ventura, and Carl Weathers. (whom I can't remember a kick ass line from the movie at the present time.)

20 Meanest US Cities - A listing of the 20 meanest cities in the US came out. My nearest major city did not make it. I'm nice. There were three states that seemed to be stockpiled heavily in it though. California, home of Fascist dictator Ahnold, Texas, where dubs claims his residency, and Florida, where Jebby resides. No wonder why I've thought the Bush children were assholes.

...thank you, drive thru

Napoleon is one sexy motha...

The HTML on this thing is all messed up. I kinda figured it out, so it would look semi-normal.

What Napoleon Dynamite Phrase Are You?
Name
DOB
Date
Pick One	Blue Blue Green Purple Yellow Orange Black Red
Your Phrase	Tina you fat lard, come get some dinner
Napoleonness - 20%
Will You Ever Be As Cool As Napoleon??	(8) - My sources say no. - (8)
This QuickKwiz by pimpinit772 - Taken 166806 Times.

New - Help with love and dating!

The Evils of Blogger **updated 2X**

When everything works, there are no problems. When something breaks, all hell breaks loose. That is today and now.

I have read numerous blogs today, and I have many a comment I want to make on them. I can't though. Blogger keeps spitting errors at me when I try to post a comment. This is on at least 5 different blogs too.

I e-mailed their help last night, after checking the Blog Status page. They still haven't posted about the problem, as I am sure this is more than just something I am facing. So, until then, I must wait to post all of my twisted commentary on other's blogs.

**Update: They have acknowledged the problem, and are working on it. Maybe it will be fixed sometime soon. Then again, we are talking about the same group of people that haven't had the ability to fix the thing in our profiles that updates word count, most recent posts, etc. I love having to argue posts I made in November about the damn election with people.**

**2nd Update: I got some comments in on folks blogs... The message said it was still broke... who knows**

Luckily, it hasn't harmed me posting my own semi-mindless drivel on my own.

Dosage of Cartoons and Video

Big Bunny 5 - Big Bunny teaches the tasty children about the color red...

New Bugs Bunny - Some kids encounter the new "extreme" bunny.

Most annoying Flash - This thing makes fun of a lot of flash cartoons, most notably, that damn, annoying, numa numa dance crap.

We're Not Gonna Take It - What do you get when you cross an eighties hair metal song with an eighties video game? Pure genius.

Neurotically Yours - Yet another poor new offering. Pillz-E and Germaine in this one.

Strongbad - This week strongbad talks about the coolest thing ever.

Manshow Boy Buy's Porn - This kid rocks. He's got all the lines.

WTF U Doing? - Be careful what you do... big brother is watching.

Sports Americans Hate

I read an article, on the sports american's hate. Sad thing is, it covers almost every sport americans watch too. So now, I must do the inevitable--give my opinion on every sport on their list.

1. Dog Fighting - anyone who cares about humane treatment of animals hates this one. But, when did it become a sport?
2. Professional Wrestling - I like wrestling. One prob, its not a sport. Vince McMahon calls it "sports entertainment" for a reason. It's scripted. I wouldn't say fake, because people can and do get hurt and occasionally killed. Top two aren't sports in my book.
   
3. Bullfighting - Heh. Yeah. Sweaty guys in speedos is worse than fighting and killing a bull. This one does qualify as a sport to me, since there is ONE person involved in it. Half sport. Still inhumane. I would be cheering for a good mauling by the bull.
   
4. Professional Boxing - This one is slightly more real than pro wrestling at this point. Don King owns everyone. Grown men beat each other for a certain number of rounds, till one flops. After a career, most are turned from intelligent men with a talent, to worn out veggies.
5. PGA Tour - Hit ball. Chase after it. Hit it again. Golf is a hobby, not a sport.
   
6. PGA Seniors Tour - Old people doing the aforementioned activity. Sounds worse to me. We need an NFL seniors league.
7. LPGA Tour - Hit ball. Chase after it. Hit again. Only a woman doing it. Same as 5 and 6: boring.
8. NASCAR - Slowest of all the major cars that race on a track. Overregulated to keep things just way too level. Guys drive slow in an oval no less. A road course would confuse people, and kill the idea of a grandstand. Worst example of racing out there.
9. Men's League Soccer - I don't get soccer. I know the rules, but any sport where if you get a 2-0 lead means you play keep away for 2 hours and are guaranteed a win, is bullshit and boring. I'd rather watch reruns of "Small Wonder."
10. ATP Men's Tennis - Hit ball one way, hit back. Back, forth, back, forth. That is only exciting if its pornagraphic.
11. NBA - Overpaid and whiney players. Teams are more worried about showboating than actually playing the game technically well. That is why we got our asses handed to us in the Olympics.
12. Major League Baseball - I do like baseball, but it can be... slow. I understand the hate some have of it. Add in that half the stars are coming out as having taken steroids, its not exactly the wholesome sport people really want.

(source)

Primaries Over, Election Next

The brief primaries are now over, and there was a tie amongst two of the top choices. Sorry to all that voted for my lesser favorite, but given the choice between my first name or gravy, I'll take my real first name. Here are the final two for the election. First name that my parents gave to me upon birth, or the incumbant, Mr. Toolbox.

Presidential has recieved a couple random votes this week, so the numbers changed a little bit.

1. 33% Dave Chappelle as RICK JAMES BITCH!!!; Homer Simpson with the Bee (tie)
2. 24% Michael Moore, with extra cheese
3. 9% Bill O'Reilly with a falafel

Happy voting.

Where Were You?

First, The United States



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or check out ourFlorida travel guide

Next, Canada



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or check out ourVancouver travel guide

Finally, Europe



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or check out our Barcelona travel guide

I Heard That

"Sometimes you want an orange but you get handed a tangerine." - Myself (I really wish philosophy was a paying career. I'd go into it.)

"There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased that line." - Oscar Levant (This man is my hero. Without him I would just be known as insane.)

"Some men are just as sure of the truth of their opinions as are others of what they know." - Aristotle (He must have met a Bush supporter too.)

"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens." - Nick Diamos (What was that? I missed it.)

"I do not participate in any sport that has ambulances at the bottom of the hill." - Erma Bombeck (No downhill skiing. How about ultimate fighting? Its just you and someone else in an octagon.)

"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry." - (Yeah, and the trouble with life in the slow lane is your stuck breathing diesel fumes while a bunch of assholes cut you off getting on and off the road.)

"We all came on different ships, but we are in the same boat now." - Martin Luthar King Jr. (That boats name is the S.S. Minnow, it is up Shitte Creek, and we have no paddle.)

"To do carefully and constantly and kindly many little things is not a little thing." - Author Unknown (I wouldn't take credit for that run-on sentence either, even if it IS true.)

"There is no person who is not dangerous for someone." - Marie de Sevigne (Even if I am wearing a t-shirt that says 'plays well with others'?)

"Bride: a woman with a fine prosect of happiness behind her." - Ambrose Bierce (Husband: a man who just sold his soul to satan. Heh. Two can play the sexist game you evil wench-beast.)

Saturday Newsday

North Korea Wants Apology - With all the hostilities going on in the middle east, the situation in the far east with North Korea is scary too. This brings into the idiocy of dubs diplomatic genius. Openly call a country an "outpost of tyranny." Call for a regime change. Then, ask to talk things over. By that language, you don't want to talk shit over dubs. You wanna blow shit up. If you want to blow shit up, don't let others in on it. Plan it out, but don't let the opposition in on it. Your like a dumb ass supervillian in a comic strip. Tell the other guy your whole plan before you try to kill them.

Protest Over Biodefense - A bunch of scientists are protesting that our research money doesn't go to cures for disease that run rampant anymore. They go to fighting potential bio-terrorism threats like the plague and anthrax. So, growing more plague and anthrax across the US is going to make us safer, when.... if I remember correctly, the anthrax scare was possibly done with anthrax from our own labs. Good plan. We need to grow more fuel for attacks, and not do more research into the crap that IS killing people every day.

Rummy Gets Sued - Donnie boy is getting sued for his role in signing papers approving some interrogation tactics that aren't up to Geneva convention standards. The suit was filed in the U.S. too. So, he can't just avoid stops to Germany, like he did a month ago where he is accused of war crimes. Maybe Rummy's old wrinkly ass will get put on lockdown and find out what prison life in the US is like. I can't picture an old man like him making someone his bitch so... eek!!!

Ten Commandments Hit Supreme Court - The US Supreme Court is going to see a case regarding if the Ten Commandments can be displayed on government ground, or if it is a violation of church and state since it would seem to show favoritism to one religion. The interesting thing is, many of those big stone tablets of the commandments weren't done by the government. They were done for movie publicity before "The Ten Commandments" hit the theatres back in the mid 1950's. So all those religious monuments, are a tribute to selling shit. That is what happens when government, capitalism, and religion mix. I like them seperate. Like the constitution says with that "seperation of church and state" thing.

Smelly Divorce - A woman is seeking a divorce from her husband, who hasn't bathed in over a year. She is having problems because Iranian law does not allow a woman many reasons for divorce. Horrid body stench is not one of them. To think, some Americans want to go back to a system like this that I mentioned in January.

Ahnold Doesn't Regret Doing Drugs, Would Do It Again - Everyones favorite Fascist Conservative Governor would do steroids again. "I have no regrets about it." "We went to the doctor and did it under doctors' supervision." It was something he "had to do to compete." Such a great message for the kids. Do drugs, its the only way to get by. It is the current Republican gameplan, never admit fault, and just run in and attack, but always make up shit and chastize everyone else for being wrong about the exact same shit you admit to, that for you wasn't wrong. I'll figure it out one day.

Razzies - Halle Bery won a Razzie for worst actress in the horrid movie "Catwoman." Of course, she did the unthinkable. She was at the ceremony and accepted the award. She mocked her own Academy awards acceptance speech, and thanked other bad actors, and writers, without whom her bad performance would not have been possible. Halle, I salute you. THAT is a sense of humor.

Flight Without Engine(s) - I will never fly British Airways after reading this. The idiots took off, lost an engine, but flew across an ocean without it, on just three engines because the jet was able to do it. I call extra engines back ups. Missing back ups is bad. The real interesting thing is, the damn headline on the article says "flew on one engine." Now, one engine instead of four!?!?!?!? Yeah, no British Airways ever for me.

31% of Men are Adults by 30 - Don't start pointing and laughing yet. Its because of extenuating circumstances. School, establishing a career, financial independance, and part of these requirements is breeding. In that latter case... "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a toys R us kid."

Backstreet Who? - I really really hope he comes out with a CD. I'll buy it, and jam it LOUD!!! I'm sure its sweet and sensitive too. Expressive sexy thoughts, in that divine voice. A new singing career is born... Mike Tyson's. You must click that link over there. The pictures are indescribable.

SpringfieldIsForGayLoversOfMarriage.com - The Simpsons creates websites, oh yes.

Landspeeder for Sale - Buy this thing. Help Luke get to Alderaan.

Cartoons - Movie Week

Big Bunny 4 - This week, the scrumptuous children teach big bunny about Easter, and big bunny teaches them about a bluebird.

Predator - the movie Predator, in ten seconds, re-enacted by Henrietta Pussycat.

Lord of the Pimps - this needs a full version. This is basically the intro before the credits.

3 Fast 3urious - I can picture this actually making theatres. Starring Corey Haim and Todd Bridges.

SpongeBong Hempants 2 - SpongeBong is back. Good sequal. Hopefully they keep up this little series till the drug humor gets boring. So... two more episodes?

P.E.T.P.

Billions die a slow, agonizing death yearly. No one pays attention to their pain. Their pleas fall on deaf ears. Their cries go unnoticed. This is an injustice that must be stopped. I urge all of you to help me form, and to join P.E.T.P. - People for the Ethical Treatment of Produce.

Lettuce can't speak to someone, and scream in pain at the torture it must bear. Only we can take up its cause, and fight for its ethical treatment, so it doesn't have to suffer in silence anymore. Let us look at the sad existance lettuce and other produce must face.

While living on a farm, they are grown in an unnatural habitat, from genetically altered seed that has caused them to grow mutated from their natural forms. They are sprayed with chemicals, to make them grow faster, fatter, and to keep preditors away. Although this may seem helpful, it leaves them in a drug induced haze for most of their lives.

Eventually, it reaches harvest time. They are mercilously chopped from their vines or roots. Some varieties of produce are ripped from the very ground they are in. This brings them much pain. They bleed. They go into shock. They are quickly thrown into cold temperatures, to keep them alive.

While they are kept alive, carcass upon carcass barely clinging to life, they are shipped. The half-lifeless and naked bodies are cleansed, and the unwanted ones are rejected. The survivors are then shipped off to stores.

The few that make it that far, are kept on that life support by a slight mist of water and cold temperatures. There they sit in the produce section of the grocery store until someone gets them, and shoves them in a plastic bag, where they are cut off from air!!! They nearly suffacate. That person is you. You bring them home, and put them in a drawer or shelf in the dark in your fridge, awaiting their final execution.

Depending on your preferance, you kill them differently. Some are murdered by heat of cooking. Others face a much more painful, and gruesome death. They are eaten alive. People take those living plants, put them in their mouths, chew and eat them. They must endure horrid pain being ground up into a paste while still alive. Such a sad life.

We must act, and do something about this evil, unethical treatment. Plants are alive, and living creatures. God has put them here on this planet. They share the earth with us, it is theirs too. Say no to eating produce. Join P.E.T.P. The carrots will thank you.

Radical Agenda of Hatred

The areas we live in, the people we surround ourselves with, have a huge impact on our lives. Regional influences play a major part in what we see and hear. Although I have crossed state borders, I have lived in and around Chicago and the state of Illinois my entire life. All my media: news, television, and radio are out of the city. It is my strongest influence as far as regions go.

This past year, during the Senate campaign, after Ryan dropped out amid a sex scandal involving his ex-wife and former Star Trek Voyager Star Jeri Ryan, a new candidate took stage for the Republican party to face Barack Obama. His name was Alan Keyes. Keyes moved from Maryland to Illinois to face Obama for the seat in the Senate. It was a last ditch effort to get someone to go for the spot.

Keyes is part of the ultra conservative wing of the Republicans. His belief system is almost the exact opposite of everything I stand for and believe in. To hear the man speak aggravates me with his narrow minded, hateful message. He was quoted as saying that Dick Cheney's daughter, and all members of the gay and lesbian community are "Selfish hedonists" and that if the "radical homosexual agenda" is ever accomplished, "we are utterly destroying the concept of family."

February 13th, Maya Marcel-Keyes, his 19 year old daughter announced that she is a "liberal queer." Her father has known for a period of time that she was homosexual, and held liberal political beliefs. She kept quiet to avoid conflict. When she attended the anti-inaugural ball, protesting President Bush's re-election, her father threw her out.

Maya has received help from friends and a charity that helps students that have been disowned by their parents for being gay. She was unable to attend college right away due to funding, and spent time in India teaching while taking an option to put off her freshman year at Brown University for a year. She was lucky, and managed to get help from people to get her life back together quickly.

Most parents would dream to have a child that got straight A's, was active in the community, supported their parents (she worked on her fathers campaign even though she disagreed with his views), and got accepted into an Ivy League school. What more could a parent want?

Maya still loves her father which is understandable. It is difficult to hold a grudge against parents when they raised you your entire life. The bond between parent and child defies being broken. There is no fault with a child loving their parents.

The problem lies within the "destruction of the concept of family." Family is a feeling of bonding and togetherness. It is an inclusive group, that accepts us for who we are, no matter what the circumstance. Maya's sexuality did not destroy a family. A man's prejudice and hatred of people who are different than he is destroyed a family.

Every Vote Counts

A new week, a new poll. This new poll, shouldn't be called a poll, it is truly a vote. The outcome has an effect that will echo across the land. Like a collective fireball shot from the asses of the gods, streaking across the universal conciousness. This weeks vote shall be on... my display name.

Here is the brief story behind how I came up with the name, and how it was betrothed upon me. It was shortly after I discovered the "next blog" button in the top right hand corner of the screen, and I came across a heavily pro-republican blog. Me being a former republican (a moderate one), had to make some comments. All were.... anonymous. I did bookmark the site, and went back the next day. I got an anonymous reply to one of my comments, and I got called a toolbox. I told him that's Mr. Toolbox, and created the display name, and started replying daily on the guys site.

That brings me to the new vote. It will run for two weeks. Week one is the primaries, with a long list of choices. Week two will be the full on election, with only the top two vote recieving candidates going forward. In the event of a tie, I get the deciding vote. Election ends when I wake up on Tuesdays, and do my Blogging, as usual. (Scientific and accurate, huh?)

Now, the current election results. Your votes for preferred superpower:

1. 67% Care Bear Stare.
2. 33% Clean House and Car at the snap of a finger.
3. 0% Super Strength; 0% X-Ray Vision

2008 Presidential Election:

1. 34% Homer with The Bee
2. 31% Dave Chappelle as Rick James Bitch
3. 25% Michael Moore with Extra Cheese
4. 9% Bill O'Reilly with a falafel